Crime of Passion
by Johnnie Chaos
Summary: Miley was raped... by who? hmm read and ull find outshe also has to deal with many things girls deal with now.. so if u like to read about this, go ahead, but for those who have been through alot mayb not because it might bring stuff like this back..
1. That night

**Chapter 1**

A/N: Flashbacks are in _italics_!

Miley's POV

I feel so violated, and deceived. My boyfriend. You hear about these things on lifetime, and other television shows, but you never expect them to happen to you. He raped me. He did that, Jake Ryan, the zombie slayer. Why would he do something like this. He also knows I am Hannah Montana, to make this all worse. He said if I told anyone he would tell the entire world with one click of a button, and my life would be destroyed. That night was amazing before hand. I was having a blast, until about 9:30.

_"Hey Miley, you look nice tonight." Jake said, staring at my new blouse. "Didn't Hannah Montana have a shirt like that?" He asked, pulling on one of its strings. _

_"Yeah, it was from one of her new clothing lines." I giggled nervously. "Lets go, Jake. Bye Daddy, I'll be home later" He smiled at me from his newspaper and then looked back down._

_"You two kids have fun." He lifted his newspaper higher and continued reading it. Jake took my hand and lead me out to his limo._

_"A limo? For me, Jake?" I lied, I have been in a limo before, at least once a week, for my concerts. _

_"Just the best for my Miley." He smiled his movie star smile and the chauffer opened the door. I sat to the left of Jake as we held hands. _

_"Where to, Mr. Ryan?" The man tipped his hat looking at me._

_"To the teens club, please." He put his arm around me._

_"Sure thing Mr. Ryan." The driver rolled up the window that separated him and us._

_"Have you ever been there?" He asked me. 'Yes I have Jake, but only as Hannah Montana.' I thought. _

_"Nope." I lied again. "What is it like there?" I tried to be inquisitive, Lily said guys like that._

_"Just like what you see on T.V., only better." He winked at me. The radio turned on in the back as I layed my head on his shoulder. The song came on "If we were a movie" and I started to hum the lyrics. "Hey, you are a pretty good singer." He said, looking into my eyes._

_"I kinda picked up on it when my dad sang to me when I was little." Finally, I could tell him something truthful. We arrived at the club and a few paparazzi took our pictures. _

_"Please, the girl is shy. No pictures." He was so protective. His fingers entwined in mine as we walked into the club. We dance, we talked and I drank a fruity beverage. He then led me into a room, which was quieter and more alone. I felt a little dizzy, maybe that drink has gone to my head. Jake pushed me onto the bed. _

_"Jake, what are you doing?" I looked into his eyes and behind them were anger, glazed over with hate. "No, Jake. This is wrong, lets go back to the party, please." I repeated over. His chest heavily fell on top of mine and it made me gasp, I couldn't breathe. His hand went up my skirt and ripped my lace underwear down. "Jake NO!" I screamed, struggling to break free. His hand slapped me across the face and covered my mouth. His hand pressed down on my mouth so hard I started to cry. He started to move up and down as I shook my head side to side, crying. Salty tears slid down my cheek as this nightmare continued. He began to kiss my neck as he let go of my mouth. "Jake, no." I whispered. He got up and buttoned his pants. He looked into my eyes, once more. _

_"You are Hannah Montana." He said. I wiped my tear stained face. 'Why would he ask a question like that after this?' I turned away._

_"Just take me home." I whispered. "Please." It hurts to talk, my throat burned, from screaming. _

_"If you tell anyone, you know they wont believe you. If you tell anyone, I will tell EVERYONE that you are Hannah Montana." He said harshly. I slowly walked back to his limo. Thoughts rushed through my head as he sat next to me once more and put his arm around me. A chill went up my spine. 'Should I let this go? Or should I tell the whole world my real identity?'_


	2. Learn to deal

**Chapter 2**

_"How did you know I'm Hannah Montana?" My voice shook, and my arms crossed my chest._

_"When I was at your concert, you ran out of your dressing room without your wig. I knew it was you because of your voice too." He said. "You know, Miley. I'm surprised nobody realized it yet." Thoughts spun through my head as we sat in silence. I do not want to talk to him. The limo came to a halt and I ran out of the car. I did not want to go back to that limo, the limo that drove me to the party. The party that made me loose my innocence, I lost everything. I even lost a boy I thought was perfect. I started to walk as I got to the beach, near my house. The beach calmed me down all the time. Mama used to take me and Jackson to the beach when we were little. She always sang to us, and then protect us from everything bad. Why couldn't you be here for me mama. I need you now. I need you. I sat down in the sand and cried. Daddy was clueless about everything, as well as Jackson. My toes stretched in the sand, my body was cold, but the sand was warm. I felt terribly dirty, like I haven't showered in a month. I needed to bathe, I wanted to feel clean again. I got up and walked slowly back to my house, my toes stepped in the sand and I entered my beach house. _

_"Hey Miles, how was your date?" My dad was just where he was when I left. He was watching a movie with Jackson, instead of reading the paper. I wiped my face again._

_"It was …Fine." I said. _

_"Oh, did he break up with you?" He asked, not looking up from the television._

_"Yeah, that's it." I whispered, and walked up the stairs. I stripped off my clothes and threw them in the garbage can, they made me sick looking at them. I then took the longest shower anyone has ever taken before. I didn't want anything to remind me of him. I wanted to rewind my life to before this date. Then I wouldn't go with him. I dressed into a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants. I grabbed my book labeled 'MILEY'S DIARY" and started to write. _

_'Dear Diary _ _5-24-07_

_ I thought I knew Jake, I really did. I thought he would be my first real boyfriend. This makes me so confused. I do not know what to do. What am I going to do at school tomorrow? Should I tell someone? If I do, he will reveal to everyone that I am Hannah Montana and I do not want that. Being raped by a famous person and then being revealed to the public. I do not want everyone to know. That would be the worst ever. Mama told me when I was smaller, highschool isn't that bad. I think it is the worst… There are bribes and rumors and everything you have to worry about. I do not want to go back to school. I do not feel like writing about this, its making me sad. Please let this get better. PLEASE. _

_I placed my diary gently back to its hiding place, under my bed. I wanted to sleep this all away, but when I close my eyes, the nightmare plays over and over in my head. I couldn't fall asleep, I needed comfort, I needed something. I looked to the left of my bed to see a picture of Jake, Lily and me at the beach. I didn't want to look at this picture, so I kicked it against the wall. I watched as the tiny pieces of glass flew onto my carpet. I retrieved the picture and ripped the part off with Jake on it, and threw it in the trash, where he belongs. A numb feeling surged through my leg as I stepped onto the floor. I stepped on glass. If that made my legs feel numb, maybe doing that somewhere else would help. I hesitantly picked up a shard of glass and cut slowly into my wrist. I relished the sight of blood trickling down my arm. It felt so right, it made me forget about everything and focus on this. It was an amazing feeling. A feeling I needed to fall asleep, without a doubt._


	3. At school

**Chapter 3**  
The blinking of my alarm clock woke me up. I was a light sleeper. The clock flashed 6:30. This was early for me. I couldn't fall back asleep, even though my body ached for it. I grabbed my guitar next to bed and started to strum a random song that came to my head. That's it 'Welcome to my life by Simple Plan', that song was a little older, but not by that much. I liked it still. It reminded me of the situation I was in. Singing calms me down as well. "To be hurt, To feel lost, To be left out in the dark.  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?  
Are you sick of feeling so left out?  
Are you desperate to find something more?  
Before your life is over  
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?  
Are you sick of everyone around?  
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies  
While deep inside you're bleeding."

I sang to the lyrics and decided to quit. The song depressed me. I looked down to see the glass still on my floor. A grin whipped onto my face. It is disgusting, but I relished to see my blood. The glass pressed against my skin and slid across, it wasn't even like I was doing it. It felt like the glass did it by itself. I cut it multiple times and blotted it with a nearby towel. I knew this was wrong, but it felt so right. I looked at my wrist, I like the way it looked. It made me smile, but people wouldn't like it. I put on a light green hoodie, jeans and I grabbed my back pack. I left for the bus stop to see Lily waiting for me at the corner. It kills me that I can't tell her. Jake will tell everyone. I don't want that.

The bus ripped around the corner and came to a screeching stop. This driver was crazy. We had a different bus driver at least once a week. Lily and I took our usual seats. We knew which ones were ours, mine had the words Speed Demon on it, most likely from a gang member. Lily turned to me with a smile on her face.

"So, give me the details." She said grabbing my hand. I flinched, I must have bruises. She gave me a questioning look. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"We got in a fight and broke up." I said, snatching my hand away.

"Oh." She said. She hesitated. "Why?"

"He .." I wanted so bad to tell her. "We just didn't work out." I lied. I fished my Mp3 player out of my bag and turned up my music. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I wasn't up to it. The bus ride seemed to take forever, but we were finally at school. Jake was waiting for me at my locker. 'What does he want?' I thought.

"Miley, Can we talk?" He asked with a sympathetic look in his eyes.

"No, Jake. I have nothing to say to you." I whispered. Lily knew that Jake wanted her to leave.

"I, uh, have to go to my locker. I'll see you later Miley." She smiled and walked over to her locker.

" Miley." He began. I cut him off.

"Jake, I do not want to talk to you. Or is it that you cant take no as an answer." I sneered, but tears began to build up. I pushed my sleeve up to show him my wrist.

"What happened?" He asked, grabbing my arm, his fingers stroked the freshly cut flesh. I jerked my arm away.

"You did! I did this after what happened yesterday. Just leave me alone Jake!" I screamed. "Just leave me alone." I whispered as I walked away, leaving him there at my locker.


	4. Bystanders

**Chapter 4**

**A/N: This chapter is based on the lyrics to 'How you remind me, by Nickelback' so you will see some lyrics in **_italics_** it goes with the plotline of the chapter. For those of you that would like that in basic English, if you see italics its lyrics from a song ; **

**p.s if you have any ideas of what u want in the story u can give me ideas : That makes me happy **

I wanted to run, but the annoying hall monitor was close by. I wish I could just go home. Daddy wouldn't pick me up, he wants me to be like Jackson and get perfect attendance. I don't want to be here. Jake was in my next class, I didn't want to see him. He sits in back of me, he stares at me the whole time. I had no choice, I had to go. I sluggishly walked to Chemistry, I didn't want to be here. I took my seat and looked behind me, thank god, he's not here yet. The bell rang and there was still no sign of him. I sighed deeply in relief as I opened my text book to this morning's daily problem. The door ripped open and I held my breath. It was the dean. I sighed again. He handed a slip to Mr. Lex. He looked up at me, I was clueless as to what was going on.

"Miley, there are police downstairs looking for you." Everyone's head popped up and stared at me. My face grew hot, all eyes were on me. I grabbed my books and shuffled out the door silently, but I knew what my classmates were thinking. I heard their little cackles. I heard Lily and Oliver whisper to eachother. I left chemistry and went into the office to see Jake sitting down in a chair. "Please sit here, next to Mr. Ryan." The dean said.

"No!" I shouted. The dean gave me a funny look and let my sit in his chair, while he discussed something with the sheriff in the hall. Jake wouldn't take his eyes off of me.

_I'm sick inside without a sense of feelin'_

_And this is how you remind me_

_Of what I really am_

_This is how you remind me_

_Of what I really am_

_Its not like you to say sorry_

_I was waiting on a different story…._

"Miley, I…" He began. He didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry." He finally spat out.

"What are you sorry about Jake?" I sat there staring back. "I can't even look at you the same." I whispered.

"That's your fault, it was consensual." He muttered. I shot up and hit him in the face. He fell out of his chair and hit the ground hard. I started to hit him again as the police man grabbed my hand and pulled me back, they must have saw me.

"You FUCKING WISH JAKE!!! WHY THE HELL AM I HERE?" I screamed, the policeman said holding me back.

"The limo driver stole your purse." Jake calmly said, getting up and rubbing his eye. I had hit him hard.

"What did you think it was about?" The police man asked. I sank to the floor crying. Jake didn't tell them? I thought that's why I am here. It almost gave me hope. He could still reveal to everyone I am Hannah Montana. The police man, sat on a chair next to me and patted my shoulder. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"Him." I said pointing to Jake, my hand trembling.

"What did he do?" The policeman asked.

"He… He.. ra" I began to say as Jake cut me off

" I didn't do a damn thing! SHE WANTED IT." He yelled.

"He raped me." I whispered my head hung in shame.

"Is that true, Jake?" The dean asked. Jake got up from his chair and clenched his fists.

"You BITCH!" He screamed running towards me. The police man grabbed him in time. I flinched, I was afraid. What if he did it again? What if he got out of prison and came after me. I know he is going to tell my secret, but I couldn't live one more second without anyone knowing about the awful thing he did. The police man grabbed his hand cuffs and shoved Jake against the wall.

"Jake Ryan, you have the right to remain silent…." The rest I tuned out. I looked at the Anger laced with hatred in his eyes. It was the same look he had that night. The same look that made me break down and cry. We had an audience outside of the office, it was passing period. Oh god, everyone will know about this before 2nd period. This is dreadful, I have to stay here and have everyone look at me. What if they don't take him in right away? What will Lily and Oliver say?

A/N: Ill probably be posting a chapter a day, unless i get more time

im thinking two chapters tomorrow : i dont have work until lunch, so i have some time.


	5. Juicy goodness

**Chapter 5**

"Can I leave?" I asked the dean, wiping the tears off my face. He looked at me.

"I'm sorry Miley, you can only leave on appointments, or if you are sick." He frowned. "I apologize, but you have to go to your 3rd period class." I grabbed my books.

"This school system sucks." I said and walked to my Spanish class. Oliver was in that class with me, maybe he wont ask. What am I thinking, Oliver is one of the nosiest people in the school… Spanish con Senora Lopez, that's what it said on the door. I couldn't help but hesitate to go into that room. I didn't want to talk about it. Amber and Ashley pushed me out of the way, and ran into the room. They always fought for the seat next to Jake, they must have not heard yet… Stupid girls. I had to go in, the bell was going to ring. I took my usual seat next to Oliver and put my head down on my desk. I felt a subtle tap on my shoulder, but I didn't budge. I knew who it was. It was Oliver, I didn't want to look at him. I was ashamed. I was afraid. What if Oliver was like Jake? He could be, because I didn't know Jake was like this, maybe Oliver is too. I felt another tap on my shoulder and slowly lifted up my head. I saw Oliver staring at me, with a questioning look in his eyes. He handed me a note, and I grasped it in my hand. I slowly unfolded it and gaped at his writing.

'Are you ok? I heard about what happened.. well not all of it, just that jake was arrested and you were there crying.' I picked up my pencil and scribbled down words that hurt to even write.

'He Raped me.' I paused, and read it over again. I hated that he would know about this, but someone had to. I quickly folded it and looked over my shoulder, I didn't want anyone else to know. I handed the note back to Oliver. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened. He grabbed his pen and froze before he began to write. He sat there for a few minutes deciding what to write. He then put something down and handed it back.

'OMG. Did you tell Lily?' I read. I forgot about Lily. I was going to have to tell her.

'No b/c he was goin 2 tell everyone I am H.M.' I jotted down, then added. 'You're the first one I told.' I handed him the note once more, but Ms. Lopez snatched the note before he could get it. She had a smile on her face.

"Passing notes in class, is a bad idea, should I read this out loud?" She said.

"No." Oliver said. "It's super personal." He whispered. Her eyes focused on the second sentence, and she frowned.

"Miley, could I see you for a moment, please?" She said going to her desk and pulling out a green pass. She quickly filled in the spaces and gave the pass to me. "Go see her, she will help, ok?" She said offering me the pass.

"Thanks." I said and grabbed the pass. I then walked out of the door again, all eyes on me. I walked down the hall to room B103 and knocked. A large woman gazed at me and waved me in. She was on the phone, on hold I'm guessing. She put her hand over the speaker.

"This will only take a minute dear, go ahead an take a seat. I'm ordering new contacts." She removed her hand and I took a seat. "What do you mean you lost my subscription, I ordered them last month and never got them. Honestly, I could pull seven highschool students out of class right now and they can take over your employees jobs and do a better job then they are now. Yes, I understand. They better be there, or else I will contact my lawyer. Yes, thank you. Goodbye." She hung up the phone, and smiled at me once more. My face was expressionless. It felt like I had no feeling right now. I handed her my green pass and she frowned. "Hold on darling, I have just the thing that will make you feel better." She grabbed a small juice box of apple juice and handed it to me. This made me smile. I remembered my kindergarten teachers would use this trick whenever we felt bad or cried. It always worked.

"Thanks." I said.

"No, don't talk, just drink it." She said looking at me. I sucked on the straw like I was 6 again. It restored a feeling of hope and happiness.

A/N: Sorry i posted so late.. kinda had to deal with something and just got back from work

Im working on the next chapter now :


	6. Define it

**Chapter 6**

I took my time finishing my juice box. This lady was super nice, she let me take my time with everything. Her name was Debbie. She even said we don't have to talk about it. That made me happy, she isn't rushing me. I didn't want to feel rushed. I wanted to take time and comprehend what exactly went on. I wanted to know why, why Jake did this. She went to the back room and came back with two paper bags.

"Here you go darling, you can eat lunch with my if you'd like." She pushed her bangs behind her ears, then handed me a paper bag. I nodded. I opened the bag and it contained a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, milk, and an apple. I didn't mind this, this was actually what I liked to eat. I lifted up the sleeves on my green hoodie and bit into my sandwich. Debbie looked at my wrists, and looked away. I saw her look at my cuts. She was horrified at them. She did not say anything about them. I was relieved, I didn't want to talk about them. We finished our lunch in silence. "Miley, I can only keep you so long, you are going to have to go to your last period class. But, we can do this tomorrow too, if you are up to it." I threw by bag in the garbage.

"That.. Ok." I said, putting on a fake smile. I grabbed my books once more and headed towards World History. The hallways seemed empty, for a passing period. It seemed as if everyone had left. I carefully walked up the stairs, looking at every corner or dark spot in the school. It scared me to think other guys are capable of this too. I basically ran to the classroom after that thought and opened the door. I was the first one there. There was no teacher. We must have a substitute today. I was out of breath. I collapsed in my chair, breathing heavily. Lily was usually here first, so I would have company. I would have to tell her though. Lily came into the room and looked at me. I ran at her and my arms flew around her. I needed a hug. Tears poured out of my eyes as she patted my back.

"Its ok Miley, I'm here." She whispered into my ear. She had no clue why I was crying, but she was here, no matter what.

"He.. did it." I sobbed. "He raped me." I said in chopped up sobs. She pushed me forward and gawked at me.

"He did that?" She asked, frustration was in her voice. I nodded and she hugged me again. This was a long hug. We remained hugging each other until I calmed down. "Did you tell anyone?" She asked.

"The po..lice know, and you and Oliver and that Debbie counselor lady." I said.

"I hope that creep dies." She snarled. I thought about it, I still like him. No matter how much I hate him right now, he was the one I would want to talk to about all of this. I wanted to pour out my feelings to him, after he did this to me. I was in love with a rapist. Worst of all, he raped me…

A/N: WOW

hmmmmm what will lily think? Will miley cut again?

HEHEH all of those questions will be answered...

tomorrow ; in the morning


	7. SKINNY or not

**Chapter 7**

**A/N: To someone who wrote that toughie review one, it is actually really hard to tell someone you were raped, it is out of fear that they might do it again. The hannah montana thing was added as another thing to basically bribe her not to tell. So she was afraid that he would do it again, and her secret would be revealed to everyone and then people would know hannah montana was raped as well. I would know about the hard to tell someone about something like that, but im not famous lol so i wouldnt know too much about the second part. **

I went through the rest of 8th period hearing pathetic rumors. All of them seemed to be in Jakes favor, just how I figured. Mr. Oswald looked at Lily and I in confusion a lot today. He usually had to tell us to be quiet, or settle down multiple times in this class, but we were dead silent. He tossed a pile of papers onto each desk, this was a thick packet. I glanced at it to see it was our final exam review. I did not think about it, but we only had 2 weeks of school left.

"If you do a page per day, you will be finished by the final exam. Study hard, that is my only advice to you." He smiled and sat back at his desk. Lily kept giving me a sad look. I wish she would stop, it's making me want to cry.

I just want to be a normal teenager at the moment, it wouldn't have been so hard to tell someone about this. The bell rang, and I was still in my chair. Lily grabbed my wrist, and I flinched, she grabbed my cuts. We walked to the bus, completely silent. I tuned out what everyone was saying. I didn't look up either, if was afraid everyone would be staring at me. It's easy when I'm Hannah Montana, because they are not talking about what Jake did to me. I don't know, its hard to explain. Well, at least nobody knows I am Hannah Montana, yet.

Lily and I went to my house and ran up the stairs.

"Hey, could I, uh, use your bathroom?" She asked.

"Yeah." I said. She went into the bathroom and I heard a gagging noise. Was she throwing up? Should I go see if she is ok? She walked out of the bathroom wiping her mouth. "What did you do?" I asked, my arms crossed my chest.

"I threw up, what's so wrong about that?" She replied sitting on my bed. "I wish I was as skinny as you." She whispered.

"Lily, you don't need to throw up to do that." I rose my voice.

"Yeah and it works! I lost ten pounds this week. Next week will be twenty! I need to stay in shape for skateboarding." I gave her a questioning look. "Miley, you can do it too, its really easy. Its not hard at all, and you keep your shape, not matter how much you eat. Come on Miley, everyone needs to shed a few pounds." She's right, I did gain a little weight since my last concert. "Just try it, and you'll see." She grabbed her hair and tied it up into a messy bun that sat lazily on her crown. "I gotta go, ma will freak if I'm late again." She grabbed her board and headed down the stairs. I subsided to my bed and hid under the covers. Am I getting too fat? I questioned all of my beliefs in all of twenty minutes and decided to go into the bathroom. Should I? I grabbed my toothbrush, my hand trembling. I slowly put it in my mouth and pushed it to the back of my throat. I then looked down and a surge of adrenaline flowed through my system. This is such a rush! Lily was right, and I did feel lighter. I looked into the toilet to see chunks of my lunch floating in the blue bowl. It looked disgusting, but it felt amazing. It was a feeling that I got when the glass touched my skin. Was I disgusting for loving this feeling? This was a feeling that took my mind away from Jake, it was an all time high. I heard a knock on my bathroom door, it was a light knock. I quickly wiped my mouth and flushed the toilet.

"Come in." I said and turned on the sink faucet. Jackson's eyes peered at me from the door.

"Dinner in ten." He said covering his eyes as if I was naked.

"Jackson, I'm dressed." I chuckled as he peeked through his fingers.

"Are you ok, Miles?" He asked looking at me, with his little beady eyes.

"Yeah, I just don't feel well." I said holding my stomach. "You know, girl pains." This was enough for him, he ran out of my room and down the stairs screaming.

"MY EARSSS!!!" I heard him from the bathroom, and this made me giggle. Boys are stupid.


	8. Jealousy or Hatred?

**Chapter 9**

If someone told me to define jealousy I would tell them my name. I was jealous of every girl that walked past me. Why? Maybe they didn't go through what I did. Yeah, I was Hannah Montana, but that was being held against me at the moment. I didn't want to go down to dinner, so I decided to stay in my room. Nobody would really notice, they would notice I wasn't there, but it wouldn't be a big deal. Jackson would tell Dad it was 'Girl Problems' or my time of the month. I grabbed my dictionary out of my book case and lied down on my floor. I flipped through the pages and found the word Jealous.

**jeal·ous** (jls)

**ADJECTIVE:**

Fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position.

Resentful or bitter in rivalry; envious: _jealous of the success of others. _

Inclined to suspect rivalry.

Having to do with or arising from feelings of envy, apprehension, or bitterness: _jealous thoughts. _

Vigilant in guarding something: _We are jealous of our good name. _

Intolerant of disloyalty or infidelity; autocratic: _a jealous God. _

I guess my version of jealous could be considered envious. I was envious, because how would life be if Jake didn't do this to me? It would be perfect. I heard the phone ring downstairs and I heard muffled footsteps on the floor.

"Miley, could you come down here please." I heard my dad's serious voice. My dad had 3 voices. He had his Robbie Ray voice around Mamaw, he had his sarcastic voice, or his normal voice, that he used most of the time. Finally, there is his serious voice when something bad happened or when Jackson or I was in trouble. I shuffled down the stairs and saw him with a sad look in his eyes. Jackson was at the table giving off a radar of clueless ness. "I'll make a phone call to the lawyer, ok? We are going to get this sick" I cut him off.

"Dad." I gave him a sad look. He knew not to talk about this in front of Jackson. It's bad enough my dad knows I lost my virginity, but I didn't want my brother to know. Well I didn't loose it, it was stolen. That's what I think of it as.

"Ok, Miles. I'll go make a call. Daddy will take care of this." A smile found my face. I felt kind of safe, and happy. I knew daddy cared, but he's showing it now. I sat down at the table and played with my mashed potatoes. My spoon dug into them and twirled them around. Jackson wouldn't take his eyes off me.

"What's going on?" He asked. I laughed, I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop. It was like someone said something hysterically funny, but they didn't. My sides started to hurt, but I couldn't stop. I wanted to stop, but my body wouldn't let me. I finally broke into a sob and fell out of my chair. It wouldn't stop. Why cant I stop? Stop, be strong, you have to.


	9. Jackzilla

**Chapter 9**

I wonder what is going to happen to me. What is going to happen to Jake? Will he be in jail for a while if I take this to court. Should I take this to court? Everyone at school would know about him and I, and they would take his side. They would say I wanted this. I didn't want this. Everyone takes his side, I don't know why. They want to be popular, maybe, by getting on his good side. I had a dress rehearsal later, but dad said I don't have to go. Jackson went upstairs and was talking to his girlfriend Nikkie, she was one of my friends. Figures, that he would date one of my friends. He walked down stairs, his cell phone in hand. I have never heard him this giggly before. He put his hand over the receiver and stared at me.

" Um , hello? Privacy much, Dorkface?" He said his hand still over the receiver. I gave him glare and he put the phone back up to his ear.

"Get a room, ass." I mumbled, and went back to eating my mashed potatoes. I hadn't eaten a lot, I just began to settle down. Jackson finally hung up the phone after a 10 minute debate on who should hang up the phone first this time. The second he closed his phone I began to giggle, my sides hurt from before.

"What are you laughing at, snotface?" He asked setting his cell phone on the counter.

"I know something you don't know." I smiled, he sat beside me and spit into my mashed potatoes.

"YOU JERK! Go make me more mashed potatoes!" He laughed at walked up the stairs. I immediately scooped out my mashed potatoes and sat at the table, staring at my freshly cut skin. I'm surprised nobody has noticed yet. It's not hard to miss. I have been wearing short sleeved shirts lately. I don't know why, I guess I like the breeze. Jackson's cell began to vibrate on the counter and fell to the floor. I picked it up to see it was Michael calling. What would he want? I picked up the phone and deepened my voice.

"Hello." I said in a low voice.

"Are you sick?" I heard Michael's voice on the line.

"Yeah, just a little throat thing. Sup?" I said standing back up.

"Dude, party a Magalliger's house tonight. KEGGER!" Michael then hung up his phone and I heard the constant dial tone.

"JACKSON! GET DOWN HERE!" I called to him. I heard pounding sounds on the stairs, and saw his eyes around the corner.

"What?" He asked. I smiled deviously.

"Michael called, he wants you to go to a party with him. Aww two lover boys being gay together." I smiled again and hopped off my chair.

"Where?" He asked.

" I don't know, Magalliger's house maybe." His eyes widened, he looked like a deer in headlights.

"Are you kidding me, MILEY, you need to tell me. That is the party of the year!" He grabbed my shoulders and started to shake me. "Miley, was it Magalliger's house?"

"Yes, now settle down. It's just a party." I smiled again. " Too bad you can't go." He frowned and grabbed his cell phone.

"Why not?" He asked in a squeaky voice.

"Because Dad is going out with Trish tonight, and besides your room is a pigsty. He said you can't leave the house until its clean." His face lit up, that's his idea face. He always got that when he had an idea.

"Miles, can you clean my room? I'll give you thirty bucks." He showed his pearly white teeth. "Please. PLEASE."

"Make it fifty." He frowned and thought about how bad he wanted to go to this party.

"Fine." He said and ran back up the stairs, Jackson is such a girl. He always took an hour to get ready. I swear he is definitely a girl with a penis. I giggled at this. That definitely hurt to laugh, my sides felt as if they were on fire.

**

* * *

**

A/N: What's going to happen at this party? Who knows... : )


	10. Everything is changed

**A/N: So um kinda had writers block.. sry thats why i didnt post yesterday. LOL and me and my sister were being tards walking up the street like we were stoned.. **

**so r&r please give me ideas if u want, it might help : **

**Chapter 10**

Jackson ran down the stairs, holding his shirt and pants in his hands. I gave him a look of disgust. Ew, I don't want to see my brother in boxers. He scampered into bathroom and came out with his hair combed to one side. I giggled.

"Very classy." I snickered sarcastically. He whipped around and glared at me.

"Shut up." He shoved on his shirt and still held his pants in his hand. He looked in the mirror one more time and messed up his hair. He then jostled his pants on and scurried to the front door. He tossed on his DC shoes. "Thanks for coverin' for me." He smiled and heard a honk coming from the driveway. He looked out the window and waved. "That's Michael. See ya." He ran out the door and I heard a car door open, and then slam. He was gone. I hiked up the stairs and into his room. It was a pigsty. There was underwear hanging from the fan. God knows how that got there. I began to pick up his clothes. This was gross. I shoved them all in a basket in the hallway. Next, was to straighten up everything else. This only took an all of 20 minutes. Surprisingly, it looked like a model room, just from picking up clothes. I went into my room and signed on my computer. I typed in MMKiSsEsxx and my screen name showed up, I then typed in my password, Hannah and it quickly signed me on aim. I saw Lily, Nikkie and Oliver was signed on. Nikkie imed me.

ThatOneGURLL: Hae did u hear bout that party at MGALLIES?

MMKiSsEsxx: si lol Jackson went

ThatOneGURLL: O I thought u were goin

MMKiSsEsxx: No, not in the party modd.

MGirllxx: mood

ThatOneGURLL: R u sure? Im goin and Oliver and Lily are too. Com on! PLZZZZ

MMKiSsEsxx: …. Do I have to?

ThatOneGURLL: YES YES YES.. THANK YOU! I'll be at ur house in 10 min.

MMKiSsEsxx: K

ThatOneGURLL has signed off

I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked disgusting. Maybe, if I put on makeup I would be somewhat presentable. I don't know. Should I go? After all what happened with Jake and me happened at a party, not really a party, more like a club. Maybe I should, someone needs to keep an eye on Jackson. I went into my Hannah closet to find an outfit. This one looks good, I thought to myself. I picked up and it shimmered in the light. Nah, too shimmery, everyone will think I'm going to dance or something. I went back to my normal closet and picked out, not too tight jeans, but not too loose ; , and a striped v-neck sweater. It was pink and orange. I loved this sweater. It's the first thing daddy let me pick out for my birthday. I thought it was gorgeous and I still do. I quickly applied a thick layer of eyeliner, it made my eyes stand out from my slightly tanned face. I applied pink eyeshadow, put my cell phone in my pocket, and grabbed my purse. Lets rock and roll. Nikkie's Dad pulled up in the driveway and Nikkie bolted out of the car and banged on my door. I walked over to the door and slowly pulled it open.

"God, Miley. Take forever, much?" She said, taking in deep breaths.

"You look nice." I smiled looking at her faded out shirt and her short skirt.

"Thanks, are you ready?" She asked looking at my hair. "Hold on Miley, lets fix your hair." She said fixing it into a lazy messy bun. I had straightened it for a reason, not for it to be in a bun. Oh well, it looks cooler this way anyways. The ride there was her talking to her father about his trip this weekend, he was going away for work. We finally arrived and left the car. She grabbed my arm and we proceeded inside, together. We opened the front door to see people sitting on the floor playing pass the ice cube. It is this game where the person in the middle decides how you pass it, it was mostly making out and how long. This made me laugh because Jackson was so drunk he sat next to a gay guy. Jackson was drunk? This never happened… He always yelled at me for doing something wrong, oh wait until he has a hangover. I looked over to Nikkie, and she was sitting with Oliver. Where was Lily? I walked over to Nikkie and Oliver.

"Where's Lily?" Oliver sat up more and gave me a weird look. He was drunk too.

"Shes …" He took a minute to think. "Through there." He said pointing to a door. I nodded and ambled to the door. I inhaled deeply and placed my hand on the door. I turned the knob to reveal a jawdropping sight. Who let him out of prison? He was here… With LILY! After I told her what he did to me. They looked up at me and I saw the sorrow in Lily's eyes. I slammed the door and ran to Nikkie in tears.

" I'm going home." I said. She gave me an odd look. Was she high? Oliver looked at me, holding a joint. "What the FUCK is wrong with you guys?" I screamed and dashed out of the house, hot, salty tears streaming down my face. What is wrong with everyone now? Where did they go? Lily is sleeping up the school, Nikkie is high with Oliver, god knows what they will do. Jackson, he is drunk and making out with guys… Where is everyone I used to know. Jake, he is, I mean was, one of the most important people in my life and after what he did I can't even look at him. Why is my life so awful now? I lost everyone. Even myself.


	11. New friend and New enemy

**Chapter 11**

**A/N LYRICS ARE IN **_**ITALICS**_

I walked home and grabbed my Mp3 player out of my pocket. I needed something to take my mind off this. I put the ear buds in my ears and calmed down, slightly. My fingers touched the cooled buttons. The cold against my skin felt good. I turned it on and the first song was stupid girl. How ironic? _Where, oh where, have the smart people gone? Oh where, oh where could they be? _Haha so true. I was still a few blocks from home and I felt so tired from walking. I reached the beach and decided to sit in the sand. I went here after what happened with Jake, maybe it will help me cope with all this. I sat in the sand and stretched my toes. The sand always brought me joy, it made me feel as if I was 5 again. The song changed on my MP3 player, now it is How to Save a Life, by the Fray. Oliver told me this song was about suicide, but I never saw it. I never got that from this song. _Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness. _How well did that apply to me right there? Wait there was more that applied too.

_Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence  
Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
And pray to God he hears you._

I didn't want to hear anymore. I turned it off. It applied to me too much. I just want to go in my room and hide under the covers. I felt a light tap on my shoulder and I whipped around. I saw the figure of a girl, about my age.

"Hi, I didn't mean to bother you, we just moved in next door. I wanted to come out and check out the view." She smiled at me and I motioned for her to sit next to me.

"My name is Miley." I said, pulling a strand of hair behind my ears. I felt really tired now. She sat next to me and she extended her legs infront of her. She was pretty, I thought. From the moonlight it looked as if her eyes were grey, and he hair was a little longer than shoulder length. It was brown, like mine.

"Mine is Brandi." She smiled and something glinted in her mouth. She had braces. She is a pretty girl. "Man, its beautiful out here." She said admiring the waves. "We moved here from Illinois, hoping to catch some waves." She giggled.

"Do you miss Illinois?" I asked, not thinking.

"Yeah, all of my family is there, and my friends." She looked at the sand.

"Why did you move then." I looked at her questioningly.

"Out of fear I guess." She dug her toes in the sand and frowned. She didn't want to talk about this, I could tell. "Miley, did something ever happen to you to the point where fear has taken over your life?" She asked. I was startled. Nobody has ever asked me something like this. It also applied to me.

"Yeah." I whispered. Her head shot up, a random stranger understood how she felt.

"How?" Her hands were in the sand now.

"I .. it was.. it happened yesterday." I stuttered. "I was raped." A tear slowly rolled down my cheek and she gaped at me. She was in shock.

"Oh my god, Miley are you okay? I mean I just met you, but seriously. If you need me at all I live next door." She put on a fake smile. I could tell.

"What happened to you?" I asked, looking at the fake smile. The fake smile quickly transformed into a deep grimace. Her eyes turned dark.

"We moved because my uncle was released from prison last month, and he found our house." Her head fell to her hands, she buried her face in her hands. This must be tough on her.

"You just had to get up and move?" I asked. I saw her head move up and down once and then froze again. "What did he do?" I looked at her again and she slowly lifted her head.

"He used to beat me senseless." She said, I looked at her tearstained face and noticed scars, below her chin, above her eye and by her nose. They were old stitch marks.

"That must have been awful." I said, stroking her shoulder.

"I had to perfect my hide and seek skills, I'm telling you that." A smile came across her face and she and I laughed a little. That was somewhat funny. It is great that I finally found someone that can understand my situation. She does, she even made me laugh when we both were sad. I think I found someone that understands. I saw lights flash from my house. It was headlights, Michael must have dropped Jackson off.

"I gotta go, My brother is home." I smiled. "Its nice getting to know you, I'll stop by tomorrow."

"Okay." She got out of the sand and helped me up. We both approached our houses and went in through the back door. I saw Jackson stooped over the table examining a fork.

"What are you doing?" I asked, he looked as if he was going to stab himself with it. He dropped the fork and went over to me and hugged me.

"It's my baby sister, Miley." His head was on my shoulder. "She is so cute… and little." He smiled and went into the fridge. This is weird. I went to the medicine cabinet and grabbed 3 asprin tablets and a glass of water. I set it out on the table.

"Jackson take those." I said pointing to the tablets on the table. "It will help a lot tomorrow. He smiled and grabbed the pill and swallowed them.

"These are tingly." He said.

"They wouldn't be if you weren't as drunk as a skunk." I said going over to the sink.

"Skunks don't drink, silly. They just smell bad." He got up and followed me to the sink. His accent was really starting to show. "Miley, don't let dad know." He said, giving me puppy dog eyes.

"I should Jackson, you tell him every little thing I do. Why shouldn't I?" He glared at me.

"Because I am your older brother and that's how it goes." He said, his voice rose.

_As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice_

His fists rose and one hard blow came to my face. His hot fist, hit my cold cheek. Jackson hit me, he actually hit me. Tears shot out of my eyes like bullets as he smiled and sat down on the couch. I ran up to my room. He actually hit me? What else could go wrong…

A/N: What drama eh? Well im not sure whats next, Im writing this day by day, so anything could change at any moment ; keep reading and ill keep posting


	12. Tears are like Bullets

**A/N: Sorry guys, i kinda hurt my back at work so im chillin at my house and its hard to get around. So its hard to get up to the computer and sit for a while. **

**Chapter 12**

I finally fell asleep after hearing yelling downstairs for an hour. It was dad, he came home and knew Jackson was drunk, he could smell it on him. Alcohol is a huge problem. Why does everyone resort to alcohol? It is foul tasting. Well, if I thought beer was bad then everything else probably is too. My eyes were heavy, after an hour of fighting I finally fell asleep, on my right side, my left cheek was bruised.

The dream I had was horrid. I saw a remake of Lily and Jake. Jackson was in this too. They were all killing me in this nightmare. They actually devised plans on how and when. Jake was to do it with his money. He would pay someone to kill me, while I was onstage at a Hannah Montana concert. Jackson would crash his car on the way to the mall. Lily was last, she planned to stab me in the chest when she slept over. They all wanted to see me suffer. Nikkie, she wasn't in this dream, neither was Brandi. I just met her too. My eyes shot open when I heard a small sob on the side of my bed. I breathed heavily. It was Lily. I didn't want to see her. I turned my head.

"Miley, please talk to me." She said, with tears coming out of her eyes. I didn't look at her.

"No, why should I?" I covered myself with my covers and flipped to the opposite side of her.

"Because I am sorry. I didn't mean to… I mean I.. I don't know what to say anymore." Her head hung in shame.

"Why don't you just leave. I could talk to someone else about this. Maybe that new neighbor girl would listen. I would rather talk to a stranger right now, than you." I covered my head with my blanket and felt a change in the mattress. She got up and left. A few minutes later I heard the front door slam. She was gone. Thank god, I needed sleep. I heard a knock on my door. What the fuck is this a charity case? I looked to see Nikkie standing in the doorway. It must be.. God are they all lined up downstairs? They are trying to kill me, I swear. "Are you here to admit your cheating on my brother?" I said, turning over and staring at her.

"How the hell did you know that?" Her eyes shot open. "How did you know I'm cheating on Jackson?" She gawked at me.

"They don't call him Smokin' Okin for nothing." I kind of smiled. Her face formed a frown. "You know, if you tell him it wont be as bad. Then everyone wont hear about it before you break up. At least it will be after." She sat on the corner of my bed.

"I don't know, Oliver asked me out. I kinda said I'll think about it." I sat up and glanced at her.

"He's probably in his room with a hangover, go look. Make this right." I smiled, ouch, that hurt to smile. I flinched and she looked at my face.

"What happened?" She kneeled on my bed, examining my face.

"Nothing, just go talk to Jackson." Why did I want to help that jackass? He's the one that hit me. He probably didn't mean it. I mean he would never do that. It was probably the alcohol that made him do it.

"This isn't nothing, Miley. Did someone do this?" She stared at my sad face.

"That son of a Bitch, Jake did this?" My eyes sunk, I didn't see him yesterday, except with Lily, that whore.

"No, it wasn't Jake." I said, I started to scratch off the pink nail polish.

"Then who was…" She figured it out, she had this dark look on her face, and left the room. I heard screaming coming from Jackson's room. I distinctly heard him yell Slut and whore. Hmmm she said sister hitter. Then everything grew silent. He must feel bad. I looked at my door and in the hallway and saw her storm down the stairs. She was mad. What was this I'm hearing? It was Jackson… and it sounded like he was crying.


	13. Should I?

**Chapter 13**

Should I go in there? I don't want to, but my feet say otherwise. It felt as if they had a mind of their own. They shuffled over to the door and peeked in the hallway. I looked in Jackson's room to see him with his knees to his chest. He was crying, with actual tears. I have never seen him cry, not even when mom died. When mom died he just shut everyone out and hid in his room. Maybe he was crying then, but I didn't hear him. I peered in his room and his head shot up.

"Don't even look at me." His nose was bleeding. Did Nikkie hit him? I think she did. The look on his face was unexplainable. There was literally no words to explain it. It was like a mixture of shame, fear, and depression. His eyes revealed it all. The deep blue I once knew has faded into a light, soft blue. He wiped his nose on his striped blue shirt, leaving smears of red everywhere.

"Jackson…." I began to say. He looked at my face.

"What the hell, I did that?" He gazed at my bruised cheek and winced. "That must have hurt." He said looking down again.

"It did." I whispered putting my hand up to my face.

"Miley, I'm sorry I really didn't mean it. I don't know, I guess it was the stuff I drank yesterday. You gotta understand I would never do that." His face turned grave, he realized how many times he wanted to but restrained himself. He realized he was a sister hitter. "What did I get myself into."

"First of all, I think your nose is broken, come on lets take you downstairs." I smiled. God, why did I do that, now it hurts worse. He smiled too and saw me flinch. It looked as if he wanted to cry again. We came downstairs to see daddy with his lawyer. This must have to do with the Jake thing. How did he get out of prison? Daddy looked at us with fear.

"What happened?" He asked looking at my bruise and Jackson's nose. We both looked pretty beat up.

"Jackson's nose is broken." I said, looking up and meeting dad's gaze. He had let himself go since mom died. His hair was always greasy looking and his face usually went unshaved. What happened to the Daddy I used to know? He got out of his chair and handed Jackson a towel.

"Come on, lets go." He led us out to the car, his lawyer followed. I forgot what her name was. Maybe it was Irene. I'm not sure. Jackson and I sat in the back. This felt really weird, going out with my pajamas on, and Jackson with us. I despised him and felt sorry for him all at once. I despised him for hitting me, for treating me like that, alcohol or not. I feel sorry for him because a girl broke his nose, and he felt bad about hitting me. I don't know, it's all hard to understand for me, now. Everything seemed to be coming at me so fast. It was all horrible. Do you need a recap? No, you don't, it is too hard to talk about, without crying. What was with everyone now? I don't understand. We hit a sharp curb and I snapped out of it. I looked over to Jackson and he was pale. He lost a lot of blood. Dad stopped the car quickly and my head slammed into the passenger head rest. He got out of the car and grabbed Jackson in his arms, like a child and ran through the doors. I think Jackson was unconscious. I couldn't tell. My father's lawyer and I walked towards the door.

"Miley, do you mind if I have a word with you?" She asked. A piece of blonde hair fell into her face and she shoved it behind her ear. I paused.

"Yeah… go ahead." I said, I knew what this was about. It was about Jake. The little bastard is out of prison and sleeping with my friends. He is just finding a way to torture me without physical contact.

"Are you dropping charges on Jake Ryan?" She asked looking at me. I was clueless as to what was going on. Who said I was dropping charges? "Your father said you would settle, but I thought I should talk to you about this first." Her voice lowered. She hated this subject, I could tell. Maybe something like this happened to her.

"I don't know, what will happen if I do drop charges?" I started to play with my thumbs, it was a nervous habit.

"He wont be a convicted rapist, and he wont be behind bars. Is that what you want? Miley, why don't you get him while you can. Don't let another girl like you go through this torture that he's putting you through now. What if he does this to some other girl?" She said. Tears began to build up in my eyes. He was going to tell everyone I'm Hannah Montana, they would find out she was raped and they would care about Hannah, not Miley, the person that mattered most. My hands were shaking.

"I don't want him to do it again, but I don't want to go through with this. Just talking about it makes me break down, what will happen in court? I can't break down in court.

A/N: Hmm will she go through with this decision? Will she go to court? What will happen with her and Jackson? WIll Nikkie go out with Oliver? WOW SO MANY QUESTIONSSSS


	14. Did you know?

A/N: This is a long chapter in my opinion, so please r&r and tell me what you think, i think it is sad, so if you dont like sad dont read it.

Chapter 14

**JAKES POV**

They let me out on bail, for today, or until the trial starts. I'm not sure which it is. I wasn't paying attention. I was actually zoning out, I've been doing that a lot lately. I don't know what is going on anymore, I don't feel like me. I wouldn't rape Miley, are you crazy? Why would I do a thing like that? I love her. It could have been what I drank, maybe. Well, I don't know if I love Miley anymore. I did have a crush on Lily, and Lily knew it. I don't know why she did that. She took advantage of me. You really don't hear about that among guys, but I told her I didn't want to, and she said my 'little guy' disagreed. Yeah, Lily is hot, but that didn't mean I wanted to, with her. I can't even remember what happened with Miley. I do not recall taking her up to that room. I honestly don't. Uhhgg why can't I remember this. What am I supposed to say if we do go to court? My lawyer tapped my shoulder, and I snapped back into reality.

"Jake, are you paying attention?" I nodded and still thought of everything that's going on. I'm afraid to go to the store, or outside, because I'll get swarmed with cameras. They don't know about the rape, but I've heard other silly stories they made up. I can just see the headlines "Jake Ryan, Slayed for DRUG BUST!" Wow what an article that would be. An article full of lies. Why do people write that garbage? I guess people like to read about fiction. My dad was sitting in the chair next to my lawyers, listening attentively. His hair was starting to turn a very soft grey, his eyes still sparkled green, like they did when I was small. He has rather large arms for a man of 45. His arms look as if he was Hulk Hogan. Yes, he was a wrestler, but a low profile one. He could really throw a punch. He gave up his dream for me. My mother asked him to quit, so we wouldn't get hurt, or so it wouldn't tear our family apart. If anything it made my life worse. Mom left us a few years ago, and he blames me for it. Yeah, the movie star life isn't what it seems. Sometimes, he gets drunk with his buddies and mess around. They usually play the game who can make Jake cry first, or my favorite, what makes Jake break? I usually have bruises everywhere from their games, but I keep them hidden. If I don't hide them they will realize it is their work and make me hide it anyways. Who would think that would ever happen to a movie star? Nobody realizes my life can be just as hard as a normal kids. I am under constant pressure, keep them hidden or get more. Nobody knows, that's what makeup is for.

**JACKSON'S POV**

I do not remember the car ride. Miley told me Dad had to carry me in. I can't believe I was that weak. Miley basically saved my life. Why did I hit her? Nikkie did break my nose, but she did it because I hit Miley. I wouldn't blame her, I would hit me too. I hate myself for hitting my baby sister. She is my baby sister, my annoying, but loving baby sister. I still don't know why dad had a lawyer over, Miley and Dad wont tell me anything. I think Jake did something to her. I don't know what happened, but whatever happened is bringing us kind of closer together. My nose hurts, they had to 'snap' it back in place. Snap is not the word for it. It's more like re break it again, but with more pain. It looks super gross, I don't even want to look in a mirror. I saw the face of Nikkie peer into my doorway.

"Jackson, I'm sorry." She began. She really was, the look on her face was unbearable to me.

"No, don't be sorry, I should be sorry. I never should have hit Miley, I mean I didn't want to. I didn't mean to. Why is this so hard?" I asked, she came over and stroked my hair.

"It is hard because you care about her so much." She smiled, what is she smiling for?

"Now your being nice?" I asked, this confused me.

"Jackson, even though we broke up, this doesn't mean we can't be friends. Don't get me wrong, I love you, but more like in a brotherly way. Can we still be friends?" She continued to stroke my hair. I'm not sure, she did break my nose. She did want to dump me for Oliver. In a way, I guess I've liked her like a sister for a while. It's hard to explain. "Jackson? Are you alright?" I shook my head back into what was happening.

"Yeah, sorry. I just zoned out." The was a five minute gap. I didn't have anything to say. I just wanted to bask in this silence. It could help me fall asleep.

**MILEY'S POV**

Daddy took me home, along with his lawyer. I still hadn't figured out her name yet. I didn't want to talk to her. She kept trying to talk to me, but she has no idea how I feel. She doesn't know what it feels like to be held down and forced to do something you said no to. It kills me. I want to scream how I feel, but when I go to say it, I am speechless. There is really no description, it is just like a gnawing pain in my stomach that won't be relieved. I fumbled in my purse for my mp3 player. This little electronic device was my life. Right now, without it I probably would have killed myself by now with out it. That is how vital this little guy is to me. Yes, I call my mp3 player a he. I refer to him as a person, he seems to be the only one there for me. I turned on my MP3 player and the first song was a Greenday song. I didn't care for it. I pressed the next button and what do you know. All that I've got, by The Used. I loved this song, I still do. I realize how similar it is to how I feel. Maybe this song will help you with the description of how I feel.

_I need something else  
Would someone please just give me  
Hit me, knock me out  
And let me go back to sleep  
I can laugh  
All I want inside I still am empty_

That is somewhat close, in a way. It could be the closest thing, seeing as I couldn't really describe it. My arms started to itch. Why were they doing this, was this an urge to cut? Have I become addicted to self mutilation? I crawled to my bed and fished out a small box. My mother had given me this box when I was little. I had just learned how to write and she bought me this beautiful stationary set. She said whenever I felt alone or scared I could write her a note and slip it under the door about how I felt. This helped. I pulled open the lid to see previous notes I had wrote to her, even though she had passed. It still felt as if she existed, to me. Underneath the gorgeous paper was my glass, and other objects I have begun to collect. I have a collection of things to cut myself with. Yes, maybe I should go on Disney channel and show off to the children my collection of self mutilation tools. I picked up a small knife I had found in the kitchen and placed the cool steel to my pink, hot flesh. I slowly slid it across. This rushing feeling returned. Ah, it felt so right. I watched the blood trickle from my skin.

So deep, that it didn't even bleed and catch me  
Off guard, red handed

But oh did it bleed. It bled for a while. Mom, I need you. I really need you here. I do not know what to do anymore. Does cutting really help me? It does emotionally, I guess. It is helping me keep my head straight during this trial thing. I don't know if my decision is right. Just send me a sign, a sign of what I should do.

_I'll be just fine  
Pretending I'm not  
I'm far from lonely  
And it's all that I've got  
I'll be just fine  
Pretending I'm not  
I'm far from lonely  
And it's all that I've got_


	15. Babies are so innocent

**Chapter 15**

**Brandi's POV**

"Hi baby." I picked up the small baby out of his play pen. A smile whipped across his face as soon as he was acknowledged. Small tufts of hair came out of his head, his smile revealed a few teeth, and small dimples appeared on his cheeks. He is adorable. I grabbed a bottle out of the fridge and put it in his tiny hands. This baby was 11 months old, soon to be a year, and his mother had abandoned him, well kind of. She was a suicidal teen, she was my best friend. She committed suicide after she had this young bundle of joy. I do not know why, the only words she left was 'noone can hurt me now…'. Thinking about it wanted to make me cry. His name is Adam Kenneth. I thought it was a cute name. The state still hasn't decided a last name yet. They are fighting for his last name to be changed to mine. It is hard to pronounce, but I guess I am used to it. He giggled as he put the bottle in his mouth and started to mumble words. MAMAMAMAMAAMA he would say for hours, or DADADADADADA, that is basically all he says, but it made me smile. I sat down on a couch my brother had brought in yesterday and Adam smiled. "Do you want to go on the floor Adam?" I asked, in a high pitched baby voice. He shook his head with the widest grin ever made. He shook his head to anything he said. It just made me laugh.

"MAMAMAMA." His legs kicked my knees and I heard the doorbell ring. I set him down in his play pen and the smile on his face remained constant.

"Don't worry, baby, I'll be back." I told him. My mother always told me to talk to him, it will help him understand us better. I opened the door and saw Miley there. I looked on her cheek and it looked like someone hit her. "Come on in Miley." I smiled and led her inside. She looked at the grinning baby in the pen.

"He's cute, who's is he?" She asked, he stood up and grabbed her finger.

"He's mine. Well, I uh, adopted him." His legs started to bounce as he hopped up and down, shaking his play pen.

"You adopted a baby at 16?" Her eyes widened. I frowned.

"Yeah, I kinda had to. It was her last wish." Her face shaped slowly into a grimace. She got it, she knew someone died and gave him to me. "My mom takes care of him on weekdays, during school, and I have him on weekends." I looked to him, he was such a happy baby with a sad life. His mother was a mere 15, he was born addicted to crack. Yes, he was a crack baby. They slowly took him off it and now he will have respiratory problems for life. The doctors said he would most likely develop asthma, but that didn't bother me, I would love him no matter what. It bothered me that someone would do that to a child. I loved my friend Anna, but if you want to ruin your life, don't ruin an innocent one that has no control over it.

"Oh, I wanted to see how you were doing." She noticed there was a 10 minute gap of silence, we were playing with Adam.

"Well, I was going to ask you the same, but I figured you would come to me if you needed something. I know we just met, but know I am here, baby or no baby." She smiled and flinched. That bruise was painful. "It might seem a little rude of me, but what happened?" I inquired, looking at her cheek.

"Uh, nothing. Well, just something with my brother." I gasped. "No, I mean. He didn't mean to. He was drunk." Are you kidding me!? That's how my uncle started to hit me. It started with a beer and ended with me 'falling' out of a second story window. My elbow shattered and part of the window cut my face.

"Miley, that's how my uncle started." I whispered. Her head shot up in awe. She looked as if she was going to cry. I really shouldn't have said that. But, if someone would have helped me through what hell I went through maybe I would be better, less screwed up.

"No, not Jackson. He wouldn't… no, he wouldn't." She started to mumble now. Tears fell from her cheeks and hit the floor. I walked over and embraced her. Holding her calmed her down. It usually does to anyone.

"Miley, you didn't know he was going to do it in the first place, what if he does it again?" I asked. She really didn't want to hear it, but someone needed to tell her. She started to shake her head from side to side.

"No, he wont." Adam was copying her and started to shake his head. She laughed, looking at the sweet baby smiling and shaking his head. "You are lucky baby. You are so innocent, don't ever lose it." She wiped her eyes and got up. I looked at her wrists as she walked away, they were covered with cuts. I'm not talking about old ones. There had to be at least 20 new ones that happened today or yesterday. Miley, don't turn into Anna, do not commit suicide and leave your loved ones behind.

"Bye Bye." Adam said in a high pitched voice and waved.

**A/N:Hmm.. interesting... Will Jackson hit Miley again? What will happen to Jake? Im not sure depends on what u guys want to hear**

**please r&r so i know : **


	16. Old notes, new scars

**Chapter 16**

I slammed the door behind me. She doesn't know what she is talking about. She doesn't know Jackson. Jackson is my big brother, why would he do that? I shoved open my door to see my father's girlfriend on the couch, his new squeeze. He dumped Trish. He has a new girlfriend named Olivia. If you ask me she looks like Olivia Newton-John. She is pretty, but I did not care for her. She looked up at me awkwardly and sent me a wolfish smile. I do not like you, so do not try and get me to like you because it wont work.

"What are you doing home, Miley." She rose to her feet and held a drink in her hand. Her and my father must have been drinking.

"I wont bother you, I'm going upstairs." I headed towards the door and I felt her staring at my back. "What the HELL are you staring at?" I whipped around and glared at her.

"I'm looking at my future step daughter." She held up her tiny hand which revealed a diamond ring.

"What? My father wouldn't ask you to marry him, you two just met." She took a sip of her drink and ate the olive swirling in her glass. My face had somehow twisted into a deep frown. She nodded and flashed her teeth once more. "Fuck you, I'll kill myself before you become my Mother." I wanted to cry. I ran up the stairs which led to my room. I slowly opened the door to my sanctuary. My sanctuary is my room. I went over by the corner between my dresser and my bed and sat on the ground. How could Dad marry someone else. He loved mom, well loved, past tense. Maybe he never had feelings for her in the first place. I do remember those good times though. I remember this one Christmas, momma told Jackson if he wasn't a good boy, Santa would bring him coal. She said I had nothing to worry about. On Christmas morning we ran down the stairs in our jammies and grabbed our stockings off the fireplace. Jackson's was the heaviest stocking there. He skipped over to the fireplace and gave us all a horrified look. Pebbles fell from his stocking as candy did from mine.

"Momma, why did Santa give me rocks?" He asked looking up at her with his deep blue eyes.

"Honey, I told you not to torment your sister. Santa took you serious and gave you rocks. Now be a good boy and next year you wont get rocks." He didn't really bug me after that. He never even gave me a dirty look after that. I miss my family, and how they used to be. I miss my Momma. I don't want this bitchy, Olivia Newton-John wanna be as a mom. I would rather kill myself. A thought sparked in my head. What would happen if I did? I could finally see my Momma again, Jake would feel bad for what he did, and noone would really miss me. It could work. Lily would feel bad for sleeping with Jake, haha this would work. They wouldn't miss me. I wildly searched for something sharp under my bed, and I came across a scrunched up piece of paper. I hugged my knees into my chest and held the paper up to my face. It was a note, my mom had written to me after my boyfriend dumped me. This was my first boyfriend ever, I believe that was 3rd grade. I smoothed out the note.

**Miley,**

**Boys can be weird at this age. Boys can be weird at any age, but you don't have to get worked up about this one. There will be plenty of other boys, and plenty of other heartbreaks. Don't do anything because of these boys, because they are not worth it. Miley, in time you will understand why they are not everything. I'll bet in a few years the boys will be lined up to date you. Your daddy wont like that, but I want to see you happy.**

**Love Mom**

I remember this note, she got me mad because she said this boy wasn't worth my time. He was worth my time back then, but now I thank her for it. I want to hear her voice again. I want to see her again. I saw my silver box glint from the lamp in my room. I reached over and removed the lid and gently placed the note on top. My hand glided across a small blade placed on the side of my notes. My fingers curled around the blade and a relishing smile crossed my face. I needed to do this. I wanted to do this.

A/n: Will she do it? What will happen with Robbie Ray and Olivia? What will her friends think?


	17. Whats going on?

A/N: A few friends helped me with this chapter, well they gave me ideas, i put it into words.

I wanted to leave a note. I dropped the blade and grabbed a piece of the gorgeous stationary Mom had given me. I clenched the pen in my hand and words began to flow from my finger tips.

'**To whoever cares,**

**I can't take it. I dropped Jake's charges because I couldn't go through with it. I went through hell, so hopefully me doing this will make him feel awful, and he wont do it to any other girl. Daddy, I've did this because I cant believe you would marry another woman. Why would you love someone besides mom? I want this because I want to see mom again. I miss her and her hugs. I do not like Olivia, I do not want her to be my mother. She is an obscene bitch. She has no feelings. I hate what everyone has become, it makes me sick. Lily is a whore who sleeps up the town. Oliver and Nikkie are probably together. Jackson is all mushy gushy now and its sick. Brandi has a son? Everything is just awful. I cannot take this anymore. I'm sorry, but this is goodbye. **

**Miley'**

My lips had twisted into a devious smile as I gripped the blade tightly once more. Conspirator, I began to carve into my arm. This seemed like a precise description. I carved a C into my arm and it stung a little. I didn't care, I wanted this. I began to carve the rest and I went numb. I slashed and cut, my arms began to tingle, this wasn't enough. My fingers pressed gently against the cuts, I smiled roughly and touched the blood flowing out of my veins. My fingers went to the wall and began to spell words. I continually wiped the blood onto the walls, until it spelled out 'its your fault'. This wasn't enough, either. I wanted to be with my mother. My vision began to blur and I went into the bathroom. I groped for a bottle of anti-depressants. I began to take them by the handful. I looked up to see I was on the floor. How the hell did I get here? My arms itched and my body went numb. The note was firmly placed into my hand. My eyes gently closed. I'm coming Momma. I can finally see you again. I miss your hugs. I miss you. I need you. I heard voices spinning around my head. My eyes slowly opened to reveal my father looking at me with horror. My eyes were heavy, I couldn't keep them open. Am I going to die? I'm close to seeing mom again. Am I having my last dream? It seems so, all of these colors and people cluttered by head. I saw Jake crying. Why is he crying, it shouldn't matter to him. Lily, you knew this was coming for sometime now, don't give me that look. Its partially your fault. Olivia, poor Olivia, you never get to know your stepdaughter. Real shame, eh? She hated you so it doesn't matter. I could hear unfamiliar voices. They were doctor voices.

" I need B positive people! WORK WITH ME HERE!" A woman screeched, holding down my arms. They stung now. "Pressures dropping! Hurry up with that B positive!" My body felt as if it were shocked. "Damn! Charge to 250 Joules. JUST DO IT" She screamed. My body had another jolt and something happened. I couldn't open my eyes, but I was breathing. It felt as if I was underwater. How did that feeling get there? Why am I not dead? JUST KILL ME, PLEASE. I want to see my mom. My head turned to its side and pill remains chucked out of my mouth. Maybe there is still hope, maybe I can still die.


	18. I can hear you

**Chapter 18**

"We've got her." I could hear Dr. Kitowitz breathe in a deep sigh. "Miley, can you hear me?" I squinted to see a young woman in scrubs. "I know it hurts, but you need to tell me what happened, otherwise we can't help you." I looked at my arms, they were wrapped and I looked to her. She damn well know what happened. Everyone's eyes pierced me as if they were daggers. I felt ashamed.

"No, you made it worse." I mumbled, my voice cracked. It sounded like I haven't talked in ages.

"What?" She gave me a look of uncertainty. She knew what I had done, why did she want me to say it?

"I… I wanted to be with my mother and you took that away." The words almost came smoothly now. She looked at me again.

"Her mother is dead." I heard my father's voice come from the door. How did he get here? Was he the one that found me? My head shot in his direction and he gave me a fake smile. "Excuse me, when can I see her, you know alone, without all these big fancy doctors?" He said.

"Mr. Stewart, we have a strong policy on these things. Miley, needs a few hours of close surveillance and if all is well then you may see her." Thank god. I don't want to face dad, or anyone, except my mother. I looked to the left to see a pack of blood dangling from a metal pole, it was connected to my arm. Would I die if these were pulled out? I waited for everyone to leave. Hah close surveillance my foot. A faint grin crossed my face as I ferociously ripped out tubes and needles. Blood began to pour onto the ground and the sweet smell flooded my nostrils. What is this? The sweet smell of victory. Yes, I began to rip at the bandages they placed carefully on my hands once before. Taking them off revealed my carving, it began to bleed. I began to feel weak once more. I heard a faint beeping noise. NO! Its going to ruin my plan! Hah, that wasn't all the pills I threw up. I couldn't feel anything. The door burst open to reveal Dr. Kitowitz. HAHA you are too late! I do get my wish. I smiled at her with the rest of my strength and my eyes slowly began to close.

"DAMN IT WHAT DID YOU DO!?" I heard her scream. She ran to my side and tried to put everything back but it was no use. "Was it that bad, kid?" Her voice sounded sad. "Now I have to do something I hate." She turned away. "Nurse, call Mr. Stewart in, please."

"Yes, ma'm." The nurse opened the door and my father followed in, I could tell by the footsteps. Why can I hear all this. Is this what being dead feels like?

"Is she ok? What happened?" He began to stutter.

"Miley is in a coma, Mr. Stewart." She began. There was more. I am not in a coma, why is she saying this. I can still hear you.

"Can she hear us?" He asked. YES I CAN HEAR YOU!!

"Nobody knows for sure. They couldn't complete a study soon enough. Mr. Stewart, we are going to wait a while, but in the mean time I would like you to consider organ donation." Her voice was even, but low.

"You want me to kill my daughter?" He asked, his voice was shaky. Daddy don't cry over me, do it, I can save other people. "How long do we wait?" He said, straightening his voice out.

"One to six hours." I could feel their eyes on me.

"I'll tell you in six hours then." His voice was shaky once more. I think he was crying. I can move, I cant see. All I can do is hear what they say. Why is this so hard?

A/N: Hmmm its soooo suspensfullllll


	19. Can you take the heat?

**Chapter 19**

**A/N: Three Days Grace lyrics in italics**

Jake's POV

My face hurts. That's the light way to put it. My face feels like it was skinned and I'm left there bleeding to death. My father thought I put Miley in a coma. Technically, I didn't but it feels as if I did. His friends came over and kept kicking me and hitting me, I was glad when they passed out. I didn't have to deal with the pain anymore. Actually the pain subsided after the first 20 minutes. The rest of the hour seemed to go by numbly. I headed up to my room, on my tiptoes to make sure any of my fathers friends awoke. I slowly creaked open my door and hid inside. My back was against the door and I seeped down to the ground. This isn't right. Why does this hurt so much? Why was I even born?

_This world will never be_

_What I expected_

_And if I don't belong_

_Who would have guessed it_

_… Now and again we try_

_To just stay alive_

I should visit Miley, I at least owe her that. I feel bad for her. I still cant believe I did that to her, but who knows with drugs these days. I want to apologize. I want everything to go back to normal. She was the only one that knew about my father and his games. I do not know how she found out, but she was the only one that could figure it out. I idolized her, I wanted her life. I wanted to have a normal life, free of abuse, free of the zombies, free of t.v.

_No one will ever see_

_This side reflected_

_And if there's something wrong_

_Who would have guessed it_

I shuffled down the stairs to see them all still passed out on the couch. I never would do that to my kids, if I live to have any. I slowly creeped over to the door. I could walk to the hospital from here. I felt a strong hand jerk my shirt backwards. This cant be happening, I knew whose hand it was.

"Where are you goin' boy?" I heard a raspy voice behind me. It was my father. His hand gripped tightly onto my shirt, making me stand on my toes.

"I need to talk to someone." My voice was small, I started to grind my teeth when he put me down. He gave me a look I knew all too well. A hand came towards my face and I ducked. I ran past the door and his hand reached out. I was too fast for him. I didn't stop running until I reached the hospital. He could have tracked me down. I entered the hospital door to eyes staring into mine. I was sweating, I usually don't sweat. I walked up to the secretary. "Excuse me, could I have the number of Miley Stewart's room?" She looked up at me in awe.

"Oh my gosh, you are Jake Ryan. Could you autograph this for me? My daughter is a huge fan." She smiled at me and handed me a pen and a piece of paper.

"Ma'm could I please just get the room number." She gave me a sad look. "Fine." I snatched the paper and signed my name. Her face lit up with glee. "May I have the room number now?" She typed something into her computer and smiled.

"Room 212." She grabbed the paper and shoved it into her bra. Oh god, who knows what else she puts in there. I headed towards the elevator and pressed the up arrow with my thumb. I tapped my foot as I waited. The elevator opened and it was empty. I pressed 2 and it slowly closed. A small hand stuck inbetween the doors and they reopened. It was lily. She stepped into the elevator and stood next to me. Oh great. I didn't want to talk to her. Her faced slowly turned to me as I kept mine straight forward.

"Jake? What happened?" She asked looking at my face. I didn't answer. I don't want to. I just want to see Miley. I want her to be okay.

"You wouldn't care." The elevator door opened and I walked out of it. She remained there, with her jaw dropped. I expected her to follow but she didn't. I entered Miley's room. It was empty, except with her lying there. She looked so peaceful and innocent. Her arms were wrapped in bandages and she was pale, but she still looked beautiful. I could remember when she yelled at me in the office. I felt awful, then the police took me away. I spent the night in prison, it was crazy. I got my own cell at least. I heard a small sob from the door, it was lily. She saw Miley. She was also mad at me. I turned to her then to Miley.

"Miley, I love you. I hope you can hear me." I gently touched her hand and Lily grew silent.

" I was jealous of her." I heard her mumble. I slowly turned to her.

"Jealous of what?" I wonder if Miley can hear me? I hope so.

"I was jealous she had you." Lily walked out the door and stopped at the doorway.

"Lily, I did like you, but now I know where I stand." My face grew serious.

"Jake what really did happen to your face?" She asked. I quickly thought of something.

"I fell down the stairs." I couldn't tell Lily, she wouldn't understand. Miley didn't even understand, but she helped me. What would happen if she died… who would help me then?


	20. Just like a pill

**Chapter 20 **

I heard a faint sob. Was that Jake crying? Did Lily leave? I cant believe his dad hit him again. It's all my fault. Even though he did rape me, I feel bad for him. Is that possible, to feel bad for a person who hurt you the most? It is how I feel.

"Miley, I need you. He did it again. I don't know if you can hear me, but I need to talk to someone. I miss how we were, before our date. I miss your hugs. I miss how you would tell me it will be ok. Right now, I'm not sure if it will be." I felt a hot, sweaty palm slip into my cold one.

JAKE it will be okay, I promise. Just don't do anything to make him angry or do anything to yourself. I thought.

"I ran away from home today. Well, kind of. I ran away from him. He doesn't know I'm here. Hopefully that will stay that way. You're the only one that knows about him Miley. I need you here to tell me what to do." His voice slowly crawled into a whiney child's voice. "Miley, I need you. I cant live without you." He jumped when he heard a small beeping noise from the machine to my right. I heard large subtle clicks that soon started to be a run. It was Dr. Kitowitz.

"What's going on?" Jake whined. He didn't understand. I did, I knew what it was, the pills they kicked in.

"Her kidneys are failing. NURSE, get the tox screen on Ms. Stewart in the lab."

Dr. Kitowitz you sound so small. I don't want to die, I want to live. I want to help Jake, I don't want him to be like me. Pleaseeee help me.

"Doctor, you might want to see these." It was the nurse. It was a man nurse.

"Oh geeze. I need to push IV fluids and pump her stomach." The bed soon was flat and I was on my back. Needles and tubes were jammed into my stomach and sides. This hurts.

"Does this mean she will wake up?" Jake asked hopefully.

"Maybe, we'll see." The needles inched deeper and I felt a gentle tug on my abdomen.

"We got it. Nurse Riggs, put her on the Kidney transplant list. The drugs did alot of damage." The nurse's footsteps faded. I need a kidney?

"Doctor, is it possible to function with one kidney?" Jake asked. He was thinking about it. NO JAKE NO! Do not risk it.

"Yes, that is how we get them. People donate them, or they get hurt and donate them. Would you like to get tested to see if you are a donor?" Dr. Kitowitz said slowly. It sounded as if Jake was hesitant.

"Yes." I heard him speak in a small voice.

"Nurse Riggs, get the kit for uhhh. What is your name young man?" He didn't speak for a moment.

"Leslie Waters." It was a small Croak. Wait a minute, did he say Leslie? My hamsters name was Leslie, but that was when we found out it was a girl. He never told me this. Why would he keep this from me? Well, I didn't tell him I was Hannah. I guess we are even Jake, I mean Leslie.

"Alright, Leslie, this will feel like a small pinch. Alright, all done. We just need to check your blood type to see if it is compatible with Miley's. Nurse, take this to the lab please. If she takes to these new drugs and we have all of the pills, Ms. Stewart should be up and smiling within the hour." I heard a loud sigh. It was Jake.

"You hear that, Miley. I really do get to see you again." I could hear him more clearly. I'm going to live? Do I want to face everyone after what I did? Everyone at school, home and then some? What will happen to Hannah Montana?

A/N: Sorry about the mix up before, this is revised and easier to read :


	21. This animal I have become

**A/N: Sorry i havent posted, ive been a busy little bee : **

**Chapter 21 **

**Jackson's POV **

I can't believe my baby sister is in the hospital. Why did she try and commit suicide? This baffles me. I don't know why she did. Everyone thought I would be the one to, I knew mom the most, I wasn't famous, and I didn't have a lot of friends. On top of these feelings of depression I am starting to feel anger. I am angry at myself for hitting her. That was probably the icing on the cake. That's what made her do it. I made her do it. I made her feel that she wasn't loved. On top of the guilt I have, they want me to get tested to see if I am a match for a kidney donation. This makes me feel awful. I have no idea why, but it does. Michael said I should feel less guilty if I save her life, but it will make me feel worse. Miley will blame me for living. She would. She would blame me for everything. I thought everything was okay between us, but I guess not. I cant believe I would ever hit my baby sister. The sister that helped me sneak in so many times, the one that covered for me when I broke mom's favorite china dish when Daddy had a huge business dinner and she told Miley and I to wash them. I dropped it in the kitchen. I felt bad that Miley took the wrap for that.

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me?  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal _

I don't think I can handle this. I always tried looking out for her, and look at me. I do something stupid and she looks out for me and I throw it back in her face. I should be the one to need a kidney, not her. What if the tests come back positive? Miley will live with my kidney inside of her. I would bring her life. I could let her live. I could let her get better. This is a huge decision. I don't know. Should I help her if she wanted to die in the first place?

" Jackson, how you feelin' son?" I heard Daddy's voice from the door. " I wanted to know if you were up to seeing your sister?" Dad's voice was small, I think he was crying. How can I feel well if I know he is upset?.

"Yeah Dad." The nurse had finally let me get dressed. Daddy wheeled me down to Miley's room in a wheel chair. We were on the third floor, and reached the elevator. There was a small woman in it who nodded to us as we entered. I pressed the second floor button. I loved pressing the buttons in the elevator. Miley and I used to fight over who would get to press it, we would get into arguments about who pushed it last time and who's turn It was now. This made me want to cry. What if I can never have one of these moments with Miley ever again? The door slowly opened and Dad pushed me in the direction of Miley's room. We peered into the doorway to see Jake sitting beside her bed weeping. Jake? What is he doing here?

"Get out of here, Boy!" My dad was fumed. He didn't want Jake near her.

"Mr. Stewart, I needed…" He didn't know what to say.

"What you needed another joy ride on my daughter? No! GET OUT OF HERE NOW! Don't make me call the police on your ASS!" His voice was now up to a scream.  
What did he mean joy ride? I don't understand. Jake slumped his shoulders and gave Miley a sad look. He started to head for the door and then hesitated.

"Mr. Stewart, I needed to see her. Something happened at home and I needed her." He started to walk away.

"What happened?" This was a stupid question, but I had to ask it. Jake whipped around and showed me his face. " Who did that?" I asked, touching his tender face.

"My Dad." He turned around and left us, in the room. Jake's Dad hits him? No way. This actually explains a lot. Why he is a good actor, why he wears make up, why he acts the way he does. My sister helped him, before she attempted suicide. She did help him. God, now I feel like a total ass, I did add on to a lot of problems. I felt the wheelchair move next to the bed and my eyes focused on the bandages.

"Why does she need a new kidney, Daddy?" I asked him, stroking my arms old scars. Yes I did cut, but it was after mom died.

"She ODed on anti-depressants." He didn't want to say it but he did. "Did you think about being a donor?" He didn't want to ask that. "I'm not a match." He was sad about this. He would have been all out on saving her life, he would have said heck, does she need a heart too? I didn't want to give them an answer yet. I needed more time to think. Usually people aren't hesitant about this, they go heck yes I will donate it. I'm not like that, I need to think about it. I might not seem like a thinker, but I am.

" I don't want to talk about it." I whispered. I really didn't want to talk about it.

" Jackson, if you wait, she could die, or go through hell the rest of her life. What would you think about that?" He sounded frustrated. He probably was.

"Daddy, how do I know that she will go and try and kill herself again? After I risked my life to save hers? How about if it doesn't go well and you lose two kids instead of one? What would you think about that, big guy? Would you really want to lose both of us?" This got me angry, I just wanted to burst out of my skin.

"I didn't really…" He began to say, I had cut him off.

" No, you didn't think about it. I'm going back to my room." I took hold of the wheels and began to roll out.

" Jackson!" He called to me.

"I SAID GOOD DAY, DADDY!" I shouted, tears were pouring down my face. Wait, why am I in a wheel chair, I can walk. I hobbled up onto my legs and slowly walked to an empty hallway. My back was against the wall and I slid down it. I brought my knees up to my chest and cried. I cried like a little girl.

A/N: hmm interesting chapter eh? I like writing in diffrent POV's so if you want a certain character's POV please do tell me :


	22. The Olly Trolley

**Chapter 22 **

Oliver's POV

I asked my mom to take me to see Miley, but she had police paperwork. I don't know what to do. Miley and Lily are my best friends, and they were fighting. Now, Miley might die? Why is this happening? I do not understand why Miley tried to kill herself. Yes, I understand she was raped. That is traumatic, but it is no reason to kill yourself. Usually, they want to live to get the bastard that did that to them. Well, that's how my mother says it. I turned on my television and pressed the on demand button, centered on my remote. I scrolled down to music and then started to listen to music videos. I clicked on the only, three days grace song, never too late. This song made me think of Miley. Why does it remind me of her? I do not know. I cant compare people to songs, I cant. Some people can analyze songs, but it doesn't work for me. For some odd reason it really made me think of Miley. I tapped my pencil on the desk in my room. How can I focus on my Spanish homework when Miley is in the hospital? I can't. Conjugate this, Ms. Lopez. I got up and grabbed my Hoodie and my cell phone. I want to see Miley. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed paper and a pen. I always leave my mom a note, otherwise she gets worried. I remember one time when Lily, Miley and I went to a Hannah C.D signing, I forgot to leave a note. My mom had the whole police station looking for me. Of course, I was grounded, but it was funny.

'Didn't want to wait. Visiting Miley. BBl. P.S dinner is in the microwave.' I scribbled down onto the light purple paper. I slipped into my stupid raggy old shoes and left for the hospital on foot. I walked to the hospital and saw Jake standing outside of the hospital.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" I called toward him. His head jerked in my direction. He was sure jumpy. Once he saw it was my he looked straight forward once more. "Dude, didn't you hear me?" I said.

"Yeah." He whispered. I couldn't tell if he was angry, or upset. It could be both.

"Anything new with Miley?" I don't know what to say to him. He must have been here for a while.

"She should wake up soon, but she needs a kidney. I got tested, I'm not a match." He sounded disappointed, as well. He wanted to give her a kidney? I'm guessing he does feel bad.

"Oh." I don't know that to say. I mean come on, what am I supposed to say to him? Oh yeah I'm sorry your girl killed herself because of you man, and you cant do anything about it either. Hey, she's my best friend. I feel probably three times worse. I'm glad she is waking up though.

"Hey, uh. I'm going to go. Mr. Stewart doesn't want me here." His hands were in his pockets. He looked emo. His hoodie was black, and he wore jeans. Was that eyeliner? No, it was a black eye. When did he get a black eye? Man, that is a huge bruise, it goes from his cheek to his eye.

"See ya man. Hey, I will call you if anything happens." I thought that might make him happy. I mean, he is my friend too. A smile crossed his face. Wow, I was right.

"Thanks, Oliver." The smile had left his face and he headed in the direction of his house.

" No problem." I went into the hospital and looked at my hand. I wrote her room number on my hand. Lily had called and gave it to me. 212 it read. Ok. I can do this. I can face her. I walked up to her room and drew a deep breath before entering. I heard Jackson's voice.

"Miles, do you want to live. I mean, this confuses me. If you want my kidney I will give it to you. But you have to wake up and tell me. I…" He must have heard me at the door. "Oliver? Is that you?" He asked. How did he know it was me?

"Yeah." I peered around the corner. "How is she?" I asked, I guess it is common courtesy now.

"She should wake up soon. I'm hoping." A fake smile crossed his face. This was tearing him up. I heard a small mumble coming from Miley's throat. "DOCTOR!! I THINK SHE IS WAKING UP!" Jackson screamed into my ear. I looked at her to see her squinting at me. I was the first person she looked at. A smile came onto my face as I looked down at her. My hand slowly touched hers and stroked it.

"Welcome back." I said.

**MILEY'S POV **

I need to wake up, I need to tell Jackson it will be alright. I do want to live. I want to help Jake and him get through this. I heard two voices. Was it Jackson and Oliver? I tried to speak, it wouldn't work. I felt a sudden lift in my body. Am I waking up? What is going on? A small mumble escaped my throat and my eyes slowly opened. Oliver was here. This made me smile. I felt weak.

"Welcome back." Oliver smiled down at me. I was kind of glad he was here. I need a friend right now. I'm still mad at Lily. Why would she do that? Is she really my friend? "Miley, can you hear me?" Oliver asked.

"Yes." I mumbled. It was painful for me to talk, but I managed. I looked over at Jackson. He looked horrified. I want to give him a hug so badly. He is probably the most affected at this point. He looked at me and smiled. Why is everyone acting so fake around me. I guess they think I can't take what they want to say.

"Jake was here." Oliver had said. Wait, was? He left! Oh no. His dad is going to get him so badly. I jumped. We need to make sure he will be okay. I want him to be okay.

"No." I said. Saying anything more than one word was hard.

"No what?" He asked. Jackson's face grew into a frown. He knew what I was talking about. Jake almost told him.

"Nothing. Hey I'm going to make a phone call, I'll be back." Jackson left the room, with his cell phone in hand. Oliver looked clueless. He was, he had no idea what Jake was going through at the moment. Oliver's cell phone began to ring. Was that a say anything song? It must be lily. He looked at me and I nodded. He grabbed his cell phone, opened it and held it up to his ear.

"Hello." There was a second of silence. "Yeah, she is awake. Okay. Bye." That was a short conversation. I'm guessing she's coming here. I don't want to talk to her.

* * *

**A/N: The next chapter will be in Lily's POV. Hmm what's going to happen to jake now that miley is awake? Will miley and lily be friends? Will Jackson give miley his kidney? We shall seeee!**


	23. Suprise suprise!

**Chapter 23 **

**Lily's POV **

I called Oliver, I do not know why. I wanted to make up with Miley. I do not know why, but I guess it is the 'right' thing to do. But, what do you say to a friend that can't trust you anymore? It is hard to imagine us not speaking. Yeah, what I did was wrong. I get that. I was just… jealous, I guess. I mean, she is Hannah Montana, she has (had) Jake and Oliver likes her. What else could go her way? I wanted to make her seem more like a person. I did put something in Jake's drink. I thought he would do something that would put her over the edge. I was right. This is all like a game inside my head. I challenge people to the end point. I was tired of Miley getting everything. For once, I wanted to get a good hand in the deck of life. That would be nice. I did sleep with Jake, I don't like him. I knew how mad it would make Miley. Again, it was all part of my little devious plan. I just wanted her to be more of a person, less perfect. This made her seem almost normal. My cell phone began to sing What I've Done, by Linkin Park. It was my mom. My mom only called home during work if something was seriously up.

"Mom?" I said in a questioning tone. She sounded almost ready to cry.

"Lily, I need you to do me a favor." I grew silent. It almost sounded as if I had stopped breathing. "Lock all of the windows and the doors, right now." Thoughts filled my mind. What is going on? Why?

"Why?" I managed to let out. It was hard. I'm not even sure if I want to know.

" It is Dan." My jaw dropped. I might as well have dropped the phone, because all of my senses became numb. I knew what my mom meant. He was getting out of prison today. I clicked the phone off and ran to the door. I ripped at the locks until they closed. I ran around the house making sure every single window, door, or entrance was blocked off. My hands had begun to shake. I fumbled for my phone and walked into the kitchen. Who should I call. I need someone. Oliver. He would come and sit with me. I need him. I scrolled down to Oliver on my contacts list and my eyes began to fog up. I pressed speaker.

"Hello?" I heard his voice. It was squeaky sometimes, but interesting. "Lily? Hello?" All I could let out was a sob. I couldn't say anything. My mind went blank and was replaced with tears. "Are you ok?" Do you want me to come over there?" Questions hastily entered my ears.

"I need… you." I sobbed. I did. I really needed someone. He was the only one that would understand.

"I'll be right there." He said in a manly voice. He acted like a man when things were serious, and I hate it. Men are deceiving, I hope Oliver doesn't get that way. I hope he doesn't.

**OLIVER'S POV **

"Something is up with Lily." I closed my cell phone and frowned. Miley's face had morphed from sort of happy, to depressed. I grabbed my hoodie next to Miley's bed and she grabbed my arm, weakly.

"Don't go." She said sadly. I sighed.

"Miley, I swear I will be right back. There is something wrong with Lily." She pouted in her bed. I hate when they fight. They both want me to hate the other person. I broke free from her light grip and walked to Lily's house. It seemed to take forever to get there. A million things rushed through my head at once. Why was she crying over the phone? What is wrong with her? This is confusing. I want to know right now. I knocked on the door. No answer. What is going on. I knocked once more. I heard a small broken cry from the other side of the door.

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	24. It all comes out

**Chapter 24 **

**Oliver's POV **

"Are you okay?" I asked and patted her back.

"Don't touch me, Oliver. Just don't." I heard her cry, muffled through the pillow. Why was she acting like this. She was usually all peppy and alive. Now she was scared, and just not normal. What was going on? I don't understand this. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. She was tired, she didn't want to fight. I held her to my chest and she sobbed onto my shirt. She was pretty, no matter what she did. Her hair was carelessly tossed into a messy bun, it smelled of herbal essence. How did I know that? I do not know, but it smelled delicious. She slowly sniffed and looked up at me. Her eyes were grey, now. They looked gorgeous.

"What's going on?" I asked her. She blinked and looked back down. She was ashamed. I do not know why.

"Remember when I first moved here, like when I was seven?" Her voice was cracking. Was she telling me what's going on?

"Yeah. I think so. You came into school halfway through the year." I said. It was hard to breathe, she was laying on me now. Lily wasn't heavy, I am just weak. I hate to admit it, but it is true.

"Yeah, I just got out of the hospital." She what? What was she in there for? She breathed to finish. "I was in the hospital for…" She took another deep breath. "My uncle." She was relieved to say it.

"Why were you in the hospital?" I had to ask it. What did he do?

"He tried to kill me." She whispered. Hold on, rewind. He tried to kill her? How? What? When? I do not get this. "Oliver, he hated me. He hit me all the time. He wanted me dead. My mom didn't even notice for a year that he hit me. I hate her for it sometimes." I was silent. What do you say to that? You don't say anything. A friend is pouring her heart out to you. What do you say to that? "One day, when my mom was at work he came to watch me. He said I was bad, I didn't deserve to be alive. He said I was my father's evil child. He hated my father, he left my mom when I was born. He said it was my fault she wasn't happy. He went into the kitchen and came back with something behind his back. I was playing with my dolls. They kept me busy." She looked back up at me to see if I was paying attention. I nodded. Her voice started to get a little cracky again. "He came up behind me and he had knife…" She curled up and I flinched. I knew what happened. How could a demon like that get out of prison? He is awful. I don't even know the guy and I hate him. Tears began to roll off her cheeks and I held her closer.

"I know, Lily. It's okay." I began to rock her a little in my arms. She cooed like a baby. I never knew lily had to go through that. I never knew about that. This makes me feel like an ass. I have had basically a perfect life and Lily was stabbed by her uncle, and was beaten by him for a full year. This makes me feel incredibly awful, seeing as when she first moved here, I had a crush on her. You know how little boys are, they are usually really nasty to the girls they like. I pushed her off the jungle gym twice. I actually made her cry. I was awful. "Lily, I am so sorry." Her head moved up, her hair was onto my chest.

"For?" She asked questioningly, mascara streaked across her face. Her face was soft.

"I was a jerk when you moved here. I want to take it back." She started to giggle and wiped her eyes.

"My mom said you probably liked me, so I stuck it out." She giggled and that hurt my stomach. It still hurts me that I was that mean to her. I cant believe it. I wish I could take it back. "Oliver?" Her head slowly fell back down.

"Yeah?" I asked. She breathed slowly.

"Nevermind." She smiled. Why was she smiling? What did she want to say. This really confuses me.

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A/N: Hmm what was lily smiling about? What will happen with her and Miley? Will her uncle actually come after her? Hmmm who knows... 


	25. Its all so hard

**Chapter 25 **

**Jackson****'s POV **

I had to call the police, I knew Jake was in some sort of trouble. I had asked Miley for his address and she willingly gave it to me. Why did she still care about him? Who knows with this world anymore. I, sure as hell, don't. I felt a small cold hand touch mine. It was Miley. Poor girl, she went through so much as a 15 year old. She was raped by someone she loved. I found out from the clues my dad left. Joy ride on my daughter. That's the one that tipped it off. I still cant believe I hit her too. I wouldn't ever lay a hand on a girl like that, yet alone my sister.

"Miley, I need to ask you a question." Her hair was sprawled onto her pillow and she turned her head to face me. I'm guessing that meant go ahead and ask. "Do you want to live, now?" What a stupid question that was. God, I am stupid. Who would ask something like that, to their sister. I wanted to take it back, but it was already said.

"Yea, now," She took a breath from her oxygen mask. "I want to." It was hard for her to breath. That tube she had in while in a coma did rip a little so she has to wait for it to be repair itself.

"Okay. I needed to know." I took a deep breath and sighed. Well, the question paid off. I made my decision for sure now. I will give her my kidney.

"Why?" She asked. She now held the oxygen mask over her mouth and nose. Her hand was still on mine. It was still cold.

"Because, I needed to know if I should give you my kidney or not. If you want to live, yes, no hesitation. If not then I'm not sure what I would do." My voice started to shake. This was hard. I am basically deciding whether my baby sister should live or die.

"Jake?" She asked. I turned to the door. Nobody was there. Oh, I am stupid. She was asking about him.

"Hold on, Miles. I'll go call the police to check how it went, okay?" She nodded and hesitated on letting go of my hand. She finally did. She was weak.

**MILEY'S POV **

Jackson left my room with his cell phone in his hand. I wonder what happened to Jake, I hope he is okay. I really do. The last time something like this happened Jake was in the hospital for a week and could bearly move. Why was I so delayed in calling the police? He always needed help, he just said he didn't want it. Why didn't I call? He wouldn't have got beaten up so bad. Why? I could feel tears trickling down my cheeks. Jake could be dead right now, and it would be my fault. I grabbed a stuffed animal on the table next to me and held it close. I looked at the tag. It was from Brandi and Adam. When did they stop by? I remember my last visit to them. We played with Adam for ten minutes. I found out he was her's. Imagine adopting a baby at 16. That has to be hard. Then we also discussed Jackson hitting me. I almost forgot he hit me. She said her uncle started out that way. He drank and accidentally hit her. That's how he started. Could Jackson do that? Would he? He wouldn't. What am I saying. He is giving me his kidney, he wouldn't do that. I do not know anymore. Everything is confusing. I feel like falling asleep. I am tired, so very tired. I want to fall asleep. My eyes felt heavy and my head gently rested on the pillow. This felt nice. I heard a small giggle in the corner of the room. Who was this? I'm not sure. I just wanted to fall asleep. Was I dreaming? I haven't dreamed in a while. I heard the song I'm So Sick by Flyleaf. This is a good song. I fell down onto soft sand, and struggled to get up. I'm in the desert. Alone. I looked around and there was nobody else there. It was just me. I looked exhausted.

"Miley?" I heard Jackson's voice.

" JACKSON! I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE!" I screamed. No please. Help me. I collapsed into the sand. A large wave of sand caved in on me. I jumped up and put my oxygen mask on once more. I couldn't breathe. It felt as if sand was in my lungs and throat. My eyes shot open. I looked and saw Brandi next to me with Adam. She had a sorrowful look on her face. She stroked my damp hair.

"It's okay, it was only a dream." My mom used to do that with me. She used to be there for me. She used to tell me it was going to be okay. She's not here anymore. I wanted to cry again, but I don't think I could. I worked up enough strength to smile. I looked over to Adam and he smiled at me. He was adorable. I wanted to hold him but I don't think I have enough strength. He was amusing. Even if something awful happened he still came out with a smile. How could he do it? I wish I could be like him.

* * *


	26. Tired of being numb

Chapter 26

**JAKE'S POV**

I knew going home was going to be a big mistake. Everyone always preaches to face your fears. Well, my father is my fear. He scares me. I know, its stupid to admit it, but I have to face him eventually, why not now? Oliver never called me yet. Did she wake up? I am hoping she did, then I will know she is fine before I do something stupid. Well, going back to my house is basically suicide. I knew what was going to be coming. I knew it and I headed right into it. I hesitated at first, but honestly I am kind of ready for this. I feel numb, it must be the adrenaline. I want to get through this. This fight will be the worst, and possibly the last. My feet reached the door but my head was somewhere else. My hand reached slowly for the door knob and the door ripped open. I didn't rip it open. My dad reached outside and yanked me into our cold, dark house.

_Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

His hands seemed to feel like boulders whenever he hit me before, this time I couldn't feel it. I couldn't. His hands came at me in all directions and hit me in the face, neck, arm. Was there something wrong with me? I was and am numb. One of his hands slowly wrapped around my neck and tightened its grip. My feet sluggishly lifted off the ground. I cant breathe. Why does he do this to me? Why was I born. My hands began to hit his huge hands. My heart began to beat faster, it felt as if exploding from my chest. Why does this happen? You see this in movies, but it never happens to you. I never knew what it was like to be normal, and I wont live to see it either. Everything around me began to get blurry as I choked for air. Every small gasp, my father let out a loud laugh. I started to grow tired and let go of his hands. My body felt as if it was giving out. I do not want this to happen. I want to see Miley, I want to apologize. I want to finally stand up to my dad.

You're sick of feeling numb  
You're not the only one  
I'll take you by the hand  
And I'll show you a world that you can understand  
This life is filled with hurt  
When happiness doesn't work  
Trust me and take my hand  
When the lights go out you will understand

I heard a thud onto the ground, was that me? I felt a few small hits to the face. My eyes slowly opened to see me lying in a pool of blood. My father was being restrained by a policeman. He stared angrily down at me, and screamed. I cant hear him. My ears are ringing. I think he hit my ears. I am starting to feel the pain. It felt as if he hit me everywhere. I coughed and blood poured out of my mouth. Was that a tooth? A woman policeman stood above me, holding a phone in her hand. She stroked my face. I didn't want to look at her. My eyes focused on my father's, if I can call him that. His eyes were coated with hate, and laced with pure anger. He hated me for this, no doubt about it. The pain was gone once more. How could the man that is supposed to be my caretaker do that. I am his money maker, you would think he would be nice. I felt cold, it felt as if I was in a pool of ice water. I began to shiver. I hate this, please just kill me already. This was worse than getting shot in the face. At least if you were shot in the face you would die quickly. This was a slow death. It was torture. What will happen to my life? Why is this so hard. Am I dying? Well, I did say going home would be suicide.

**Jackson's POV**

"Hello? I called earlier about Jake Ryan, is there any news on him yet." I asked.

"I'm sorry sir, please hold." A nasally voice came from the other line. I tapped my fingers on the wooden table next to me. This is awful, I hope he is alright. If he isn't what am I supposed to say to Miley? "Sir, there is no news on Jake Ryan. Who is this calling?" She said. Her voice was really annoying. I would hate to work with her.

"Jackson, Jackson Stewart. Please, could you call this number if anything comes up?" I pleaded into the phone. I didn't want to go back to Miley with nothing.

"Okay, sir. Thank you, bye." I heard the phone click and I shut my phone. I was in the lobby of the hospital. Jake's house isn't far from here. He walked here. I know where he lives because I've dropped him off at his house before. I got up and jogged out of the lobby, towards Jake's house. Sirens were in the distance. I think they are at Jake's house. My jog quickly got up to a sprint and within minutes I was at his house. His house was surrounded with police cars and an ambulance. I walked to the door and peeked in. His father was being handcuffed by an officer, he was pinned onto the couch. Jake was being lifted out of his house on a stretcher.

"JAKE!" I screamed, one of the paramedic's head shot over to me.

"You know this boy?" He asked and looked down at him sadly.

"Yes." I whispered.

"Well then, get in." The paramedic said. I jumped into the ambulance and looked at his face. You couldn't even tell it was his face anymore. It was so bloody and bruised it was hard to tell if he had skin left. His eyes were bearly open and looking at me. The sirens began to wail as I jerked backwards. I regained my balance and looked at Jake.

"Come on, Jake. Miley, needs you." I said. His eyes shot open and he stared at me.

"BP is dropping." One of the paramedics said, turning him to his side. They looked up to the moniter. His eyes slowly closed as he started jerking fanatically in every direction. "He's ceasing. Call the OR and tell them we are coming in." This was scary. I haven't really been this scared in my life, except when I got the news about Miley.

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A/N: long chapter eh? I thought it was pretty intense. R&R porfavor 


	27. Let me live without this

**Chapter 27 **

**Jake's POV **

This was one of the scariest times in my life. You honestly do not know if you are going to die or live. I have never had a seizure before, it kills. After I had a seizure it felt as if I was run over by a semi multiple times. My whole body ached. The adrenaline has faded. The pain was intense. I could feel my blood flow slow. I haven't felt this much pain, ever. My father went over the edge. Nobody should ever have to go through this. Jackson was in the ambulance with me on the way to the hospital. He said something that got to me. He said come on Jake, Miley needs you. If anything I thought this happening would make her life better. He said she needed me. No one has ever needed me before. Jackson was telling me to live. I want to live in a way, to make sure Miley is okay. Then again I do not. I do not want to go through this anymore. My dad has done this to me for years. I am kind of sick of it. I am sick of fighting. I blacked out after that. I wasn't sure if I was dead or not. I heard voices but I didn't see the people speaking. The noise slowly began to fade. My stomach turned, it felt as if I was on a rollercoaster. My eyes slowly opened and all I could see was white. There was a small boy in a red shirt in the corner, and a little girl in a blue dress in the opposite corner. They both slowly turned and walked over to me. The little girl had light green eyes, and the boy looked like a smaller version of me. I looked at my hands, no scratches. I touched my face, no blood. What was going on? The two children grabbed my hands and led me to the wall.

"Where am I?" I asked. They were giggling. Why were they giggling? They stood at the wall and looked at each other.

"This is the standing point." The little boy said. "You have a choice." His voice was small and high pitched.

"What? What choice? I don't get this?" I was starting to get frustrated from the confusion.

"You have to make a choice, to live or die." The little girl sounded like Miley.

"Wait, what? This is a dream, isn't it?" I tapped my face. I felt nothing.

"You can not feel, because it is your spirit. You, as a spirit has to make the decision to live or die." The boy was smart for his age. "You better make it fast, or else you will run out of time." He smiled.

"What happens if you run out of time?" I asked, I was curious. It is not everyday you land in a different world. The little girl walked backwards and tapped her foot on the tiled floor. A small opening flashed into the floor to reveal broken spirits. "They were the undecided. Their souls were put to work for eternity." This sounds really cheesy. Why would they put them to work? "What if I wanted to die?" I asked.

"You would rot in the ground." The little girl said deviously. "You better hurry boy, you only have a few minutes to decide." I looked at each face. Miley needs me. I want to know she is okay, before I disappear forever.

"I want to live." The words brought tears to my eyes. Everything snapped back and the pain was back. Was that a dream? I was in an E.R. A sharp pain was on my face. They were stitching me back together. I looked at my arms and they were scratched and torn, and full of tubes and needles. Water began to flow from my eyes.

"Jake, we gave you an anesthetic, to relieve some of the pain, okay?" I nodded. This hurts. It feels as if I'm going to jump out of my skin. Everything began to itch. Why was this torture.

"Miley?" That was the only word, I could manage to get out. They all looked at me in confusion.

"Just lay down and relax." One of the doctors said. Everything got blurry and my eyes felt heavy. This medicine makes me sleepy. I wanted to fight to stay awake, but I am tired of fighting. I slowly lulled into a deep sleep. All I could think about was Miley. What if she never woke up? What if she died, because of me. I didn't want to think about it, but that's all that came to mind.

**Jackson's POV **

I came into Miley's hospital room and she looked at me in horror. The look on her face described it all. I looked onto my shirt to see myself covered in blood. How had I not realized that? I didn't want to talk. I know Jake is okay, but the look in his eyes, when I first saw him when I got there. It was awful. It was painful to look into his eyes.

"Is he okay?" She looked at me with hope scribbled on her face.

"Yeah." I managed to say. She let out a deep sigh. Her head fell back onto her pillow and it was silent for a minute.

"How bad was it?" I sat down on the chair near her bed.

"Bad. He almost didn't make it." I didn't want to say it, but I did. Her eyes slowly went to my arms. She was gazing at them, and a frown whipped across her face.

"Why the hell did you do that?" My head shot up. Did she just swear at me? Do what? I looked down and notice the man made gash on my arm.

"I didn't." I lied. I did. This was too much to deal with. "Let It go, Miles." I whispered.

* * *

A/N: Hmm was it a dream for jake or was it real? Did that happen to Miley too when she was in a coma? Who knows. It kinda hurt to write this chapter. SO i might be delayed on posting the next one. The next one i thought was really sad, well to me it is.


	28. My sanctuary

**Chapter 28**

**Miley's POV**

What was Jackson thinking? I almost died from cutting, so he does it? This doesn't make sense to me. Why would he put this on me. First of all he hit me, nobody knows but i am still afraid of him. I am terrified to be in the same room with him, alone. I am just afraid he will do something else and things will get worse. The next thing i have to worry about is Jake. Jake might die, and worst of all his father will probably get out soon anyways and do it again if he does live. I want to see him again. I want to touch his face, to know he is really there. I don't know anymore. I am numb. I don't want to face my dad anymore. Whenever he walks by he gives me these disappointing looks. It makes me want to scream. I hate those looks. They are the worst. You know those looks like, why did you do it? Or I am so ashamed at what you've done.

"Let it go, Miles." Jackson said. I crossed my arms and stared at him.

"Fine. Just leave, if you wont tell me." I was now in a pout. My bandages rubbed against eachother, my arms began to sting.

"Miley, now you sound like you are five years old." He sounded serious and looked at me with a hurt expression covering his face.

"No, I'm serious, Jackson. Leave." My voice was grave. I felt kind of bad for telling my brother to leave, but then again i don't.

"Okay, if thats what you want." He slowly got up and turned towards the door. He looked back at me and studied my face, picked up his bag and left.

I slid down under my covers and tried to sleep.My mom always used to tell me to hide under the covers when i was scared. This actually helped. I do not know why, but it gave me a sense of security that nobody but my mother could give me. When her and Daddy went on tour somewhere, i would always do that to feel safe. Just as my eyes began to get heavier my face started to feel damp. My hand raised and touched below my eyes and i was crying.

"Stop crying, Miley." I said to myself. "You cant cry now, not now." I heard a loud grumble. Who was this? I lifted the covers and peeked out of them. It was Michael, Jackson's friend.

"I just wanted to, uh, come and visit." He looked around the room nervously, not meeting my eyes. I slowly lowered the blanket to my lap and gazed at him. He gawked at the chair next to my bed and shuffled over to it. It took him at least 3 minutes to sit, and get comfortable."So, uhhh, how are you feeling?" He asked, messing with his shirt, still not looking at me.

"I feel okay, i guess. How about you?" This was akward, since when did Michael want to see me?

"Just been thinkin'." His head shot up when he heard footsteps outside the door. False alarm, just a nurse.

"About what?" I am a curious person, i think he was hinting me to ask him anyways.

"Well, here i will just come out and say it, Miley." My eyes moved to him and looked at the nervous expression on his face. It was a mix of being nervous and happy. "Miley, I.." He was trying to tell me something, just spit it out Michael. "Where's Jackson?" He spit out. He looked disappointed, now. He didnt say what he wanted to say.

"He just left." I said, kind of hoarse from crying.

"Oh, okay. Thanks Miles." He hurried and scurried out of the room. What was with that? Talk about random. Since when does he call me Miles?

**Jackson's POV**

Why did Miley ask me to leave? She never did that to me before in my life. I left the room and went to my car in the parking lot. This just made me pissed off. I reached into my glove box and grabbed my carton of cigarrettes i had stashed under my insurance papers. My dad is never in my car, so he will never find out. I grabbed one out of the box and lit it with the lighter in my pocket and inhaled. This felt amazing. I gently puffed until it was down to a small stud and threw it out my window. My hands went for the radio and then i jumped at the sudden tap on my passenger window. I turned to see Michael gazing into my window and motioned for him to come in.

"Dude, dont do that. Sweet niblets, i almost jumped out the window." He smiled and then laughed.He stopped and his face turned grave. "What?" I asked, i knew something was wrong.

"I can't tell her. I just can't." He sounded like he was going to cry.

"Okay, she's my sister, i dont want to talk about it." Why did he have to come today. I dont want to talk about Miley. I dont want to talk to him. I just want to go away in my room, my sancuary.


	29. XOXO

**Chapter 29**

**Michael's POV**

How do you tell a girl you like her? How do you give her a hint? I dont know. The ride home with Jackson was super akward. He knows i like his sister. He doesn't want anything to do with her right now, i guess. I don't know what happened, but it pissed him off. He just drove to my house and dropped me off. We didn't talk at all, he just played music. He loves the band White Stripes. He kept blasting Icky Thump. I hate that song, and he knows it. He turned it on and looked at me with a Wolfish smile as if it was torture or something. I didnt care, i just dont like the song. So, i sat there and messed with the hole in my jeans. We pulled into my driveway and he sat there staring at me.

"What?" I asked, he looked at the hole in my pants then to me.

"Why do you like her?" He whispered after he turned down the music.

"I dont know, man. Thats just like me asking you why you like the white stripes." A smile went across Jackson's face.

"Because they are a great band." He snickered a little.

"Well, then she is a great girl." I opened up his car door and slammed it shut. I am tired and i want to sleep. Jackson has become diffrent lately. After that party he hasnt been the same. I think he started cutting, too. I dont know anymore. I went into my house and closed the door. My mom was sitting on the couch with her glasses on reading a report.

"Hey, honey. Dinner is in the microwave." She didnt look up.

"Thanks." I mumbled. "But i'm not hungry." I turned towards the stairs and she finally looked up.

"What's wrong, Michael?" She put down her papers and gazed at me.

"Noth-, its just Jackson." I sighed. She gave me a look of concern and signaled for me to come over. I sat next to her and looked at the hole in my jeans once more.

"Tell me what's wrong, baby." She smiled. It was just like old times.

"Jackson just doesnt care anymore. Like about anything, and then i think he's cutting." She jumped.

"JAckson? Cutting. That boy cries about a bruise, why would he cut?" She asked.

"I dont know, Ma. That is why im thinkin about this. You know? I just.. I just cant do this. I'm going upstairs. I gotta think about things." Standing up, my knees felt weak and jello like. My eyes began to water. I couldnt cry infront of my mom. I ran up the stairs like a little girl and cried in my room. Yes, i cried.

**Oliver's POV**

"Lily, it's going to be okay, im here with you." She tugged on my arm hiding near a corner in the hospital. I had to convince her to see Miley. Lily was shaked up about her uncle. She was super afraid. I never knew. Noone knew..

"Are you sure?" She asked peering around the wall. I smiled and looked into her eyes.

"Yes, im positive. Come on, it will be fine." I gripped her sweaty hand and pulled her towards Miley's room. I looked in to see she has a room mate. She pulled some strings and got Jake in with her. I dont know why, but she did.

"Hey." I said as i walked in. I yanked Lily's arm and she flew into the room. Miley giggled. Jake just stared.

"Miley, I'm sor-" Lily began to say. Miley smiled and interuppted.

"Its okay Lily. Are you okay?" Miley heard about Lily's uncle. I told her before we came. Jake was silent. He did not even look at lily or me.

"I dont know.." Lily sat in the chair near Miley and stared at one of the paintings on the wall. I sat next to her and grabbed her hand. She jumped a little but then relaxed. She liked this. "Oliver can we get a snack?" I stood up and walked her out.

"Be right back, guys." We were still hand and hand walking out of the room, to the vendie machines. She seemed a little more happier. She was pale though, and jumpy. She started to shake in fear. "Lily, you will be fine." We stopped walking and i put my hand on her shoulder. "I promise." She looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"Are you sure?" I nodded and smiled. I leaned in to give her a peck on the cheek, but i couldnt help myself. My lips grazed her gently glossed lips. I turned my head and gently kissed her. Oddly enough, she kissed back.


	30. Lipgloss and black

**Lily's POV**

Oliver just kissed me!His lips gently touched mine and a flow of happiness shot through my veins. Should i kiss back? I dont know. Is this a pity kiss, or does he really care about me? I dont care, i've liked him so long. I kissed back and his lips parted. We began to 'French kiss' as we called it in elementary school, and he put his hand on the nape of my neck. I pulled away and gazed into his eyes.

"We, uh, should get back to Miley." I whispered and turned. I tried to contain my happiness, but i couldnt. I was smiling from ear to ear. I was smiling like a botox lady. I was shaking less, and forgot about everything in the world that was bad. He made me happy, i realized. Oliver and I walked slowly to Miley's room. I never will forget this moment. The moment that seemed a lifetime. His rough hand touched mine and we walked as if we were a couple in the hallway at school. This felt amazing. AHHH there is just no way to describe this great feeling. We arrived at the door and he gave me a small peck on my cheek and he let go of my hand. We both entered Miley's room silent. Miley looked to me, then Oliver.

"Alright, what happened?" She had a small grin on her face.

"Who said anything happened?" Oliver sneered back, sarcastically.

"Just by the look on your faces, I know." She said. I giggled and covered my face with one of her pillows.

"HAHA, i knew it" Miley yelled. She was looking much better recently. She wasnt as pale, she looked normal. Mr. Stewart walked into the room with an organizer in his hand.

"Hey, Lily, Oliver. I'm just goin' over some Hannah stuff with Miles." We both looked at eachother and grinned. Does this mean Miley is ready to be Hannah again? That is good.

"I agreed to be Hannah, only if i dont have to start for a few months. I'm basically booked everywhere, already." She said.

"That's good, Miley." I smiled and grazed Olivers hand. I blushed slightly.

"Uhh, Lily. I have to go, my Ma is calling my cell. Call you later?" I turned to him and we stared at me for a minute and kind of jogged out of the door. I blushed again and turned back to Miley.

"WHAT HAPPENEDDDD?" She said in an exciting way.

"Nothing, Miley. It was nothing." I lowered my voice, Mr. Stewart was still in the room.

"Sureeeee nothing happened. You two walk into the room smiling, and then when he looked at you, you blushed. Something happened. ANNNND he didn't say goodbye to me, just to you. So something happened, you just wont tell me." She was out of breath now, staring at me.

"Maybe i am not ready to tell you Miley." I said slowly.

"WHAT THE HELL! YOU CANT TELL ME, WHY?" Her hands were curled into fists and Mr. Stewart's head jerked up, and he gaped at us.

"I'll come back later." I got up and started for the door.

"Bitch." She mumbled. I paused, but left anyways. I couldn't take this, I was supposed to be happy.

**Jackson's POV**

I found Miley's box. Every blade and sharp object was placed in a precise order. They were placed on how wide and deep the cut would be. My fingers ran over the blades carefully, not cutting my finger. I relished the sparkle they had. I gently gripped a regular blade and placed it to my forearm. The cold steel made me shiver. Should i do this? Miley was pissed before.

"Fuck that, i dont care what she thinks." I whispered, digging the blade deeper into the tan skin on my forearm. A stream flowed down to my wrist as i gently wiped it with a cloth. I wiped the blade and placed it back into its house of depression. I carefully wrapped the cloth around the cut and walked to my room. The lyrics of Atreyu's Lip gloss and Black flooded my room. I had left the C.D. in my radio playing.

_Aren't you tired of being weak?  
Such rage that you could scream  
All the stars right out of the sky  
And destroy the prettiest starry night  
Every evening that I die_

I honestly hate lyrics right now. They hit soooo close to home. Do you know what i mean? Seriously.

_I am exhumed  
Just a little less human, and alot more bitter and cold._

This just sucks. I heard 3 subtle knocks on my door, over the blasting music. I snatched my green hoodie off my chair and threw it on. I didnt want anyone to see my 'new addition'.

"Come in." I shouted over the music, and fell onto my bed. Michael's head peered into my door and he walked over to the radio. He turned it off, then sat next to me on my bed. "What do you want, Mike." I sneered.

"Dude, we need to talk." He sneered back. Oh great, about what. How he wants to bang my sister?

"You sound like a chick who's breaking up with me." I smiled and looked over to him. I groaned a little, my arm was starting to hurt. His head immediately jerked in my direction.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Me, who else would it be." I half smiled again and sat up. He gave me an untrusting look and looked at my hoodie.

"Give me your arm." He commanded and grabbed it. He ripped up my sleeve and the cloth. The cloth bled through onto my hoodie. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS JACKSON?" He tossed the cloth at my face, it felt like a slap. "Your cutting now? Your sister put you through this hell, so your doing this to get back at her?" He was almost screaming now.

"No, I.." He cut me off.

"Then what the FUCK is this for?" He started towards my door and grabbed onto the knob. "God, Jackson. I thought you were better than this. I thought you were a great friend. But, you go and fuck it up like this. Thanks, man." He left me in silence. Everything tensed up in my body. I felt awful. I ran to the door. No, fuck this, he said i'm an awful friend. Rage surged through my veins and flooded my head. My fists curled and i began to hit my door. The wood chipped and cut my knuckles. I looked at the blood dripping from the door and smiled. I felt numb.

_Aren't you tired of being weak?  
Such rage that you could scream  
All stars right out of the sky  
And destroy the prettiest starry night  
Every evening that I die_

Live  
Love  
Burn  
**Die**


	31. Exploding relationships

**Chapter 31**

Michael's POV

What is his problem? Geeze, he felt aweful when Miley did this to him, so why does he do it? This confuses me. I do not know what to do anymore. I slammmed the door to my house and ran up the stairs. I felt my mom's eyes watching me as i went up the stairs. I seriously can't take Jackson doing this. This angers me, but saddens me as well. How could he be so sad to resort to this? I can kind of understand Miley doing it, she was raped. But, Jackson wasnt raped, if anything i thought he had a perfect life. He had a great family, he got to travel with his family and he has an amazing sister. Why can't life be that great for me?

"Michael?" I heard a small sob from the door. Was that my mom? I think it was. Another sob was released and a large sigh.

"Ma? Are you crying?" I asked. A loud sniff and then other knock filled the room. "Yeah, come in." I gently said.

"Miii- I want to talk to you about Jacksonn." She stuttered slightly on her words, this must hurt her. She sat down on my bed and patted a spot next to her. I walked over slowly and hesitated before sitting.

"Mom, i dont need your help, if thats what your trying to do." I retreated. I knew this is what she wanted to 'talk' about. She always did this. If i was ever upset she always wanted to help. But here's the thing, i never wanted her help, ever. It is useless.

"Michael, i just thou-" I cut her off. I could feel anger, confusion and hate bubbling inside.

"MOM! YOUR NOT A TEENAGER! YOU DONT HAVE A FUCKING CLUE! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE!" Hate, Aggression, and sadness flowed through my body while staring at the innocent face of my mother. Her small figure cowered as i raised my voice. My fists began to ball up as it was highered. Right now, it felt as if i could kill. Adrenaline pumped through me within the 3 second period, filling every limb and body part. Am i about to hit my mother? I lowered my hand. No, I cannot be like my good for nothing father. I collapsed onto the floor in tears. How did i get this way...

**Brandi's POV**

I heard Miley was getting out of the hospital soon. Adam misses her. He is actually starting to say words. He said Myey, which sounds like mye. It is adorable. I picked up Adam and he gave me a cheerful look.

"Hi, Baby." He giggled a little bit. "Want to go visit Myey? She might be home by now." I smiled and rubbed a smudge off his face. I grabbed his shoes and slipped into mine and walked to the next door house. I slightly knocked on the door and heard small footsteps on the otherside. Jackson's face emerged in the glass door, with a half smile. He opened the door and gazed at the face of Adam, and then me. He stared at me for a moment. He had a look in his eyes, that i could not pinpoint, but i'm pretty sure it was sadness. Jackson sighed lightly, then opened the door wider.

"Come in." He said motioning towards the couch. I set Adam down and he crawled towards the couch. He smiled and picked up a shoe that was lying near the door. "He's getting so big." He smiled and sat at the end of the arm of the chair. One of his hands covered his right forearm, i'm guessing it was causing him pain. His face scrunched slightly, yeah, he was in pain.

"Yeah, he's a little over a year now." I smiled and looked at his sweet, cherubic face. His eyes were a piercing green, that made you smile. His hair, finally growing out of tufts, it didnt look as funny, but it was still cute. He could be a baby on the pampers commercials. He acts like he could be a papmer's baby, anyways.

"Wow, i would have never guessed." It was a little akward at first with Jackson and I. I had liked him for a while and i think he still doesnt know. "How long are you here for?" He asked looking at Adam then to me.

"Whenever Miley gets here." I giggled a little. Adam fell over and rolled onto his side. He started to jab Miley's name.

"Myey. Myey. Myey." He rolled on the floor and finally regained balance to crawl again. We both laughed and silence began to creep over us.

"Jackson-" I didnt know what to say, this was hard for me.

"Hmm?" He looked up into my eyes.

"Do you thin-. What time is Miley going to be here?" I asked. Ahh you dumbass, why didnt you ask him. Why?! You had the perfect chance to do it now...

"Soon. My dad called a while ago saying she should be released soon." He rolled up his sleeves and picked up Adam. I looked at the long gash on his arm.

"What happened?" I asked, grabbing his arm and holding it infront of me. I examined the deep wound and soon realized what it was.

"Nothing." He yanked his arm back and rolled down his sleeves. He seemed angry now.

"Jackson, I know it't not nothing. Talk to me. Seriously." I grabbed his hand and stroked it gently.

"I just dont want to, okay?" He pulled his hand away and paced around the couch.

"Just tell me. Please, Jackson, i want to help." He paced near the couch quicker than before.

"No, i'm not going to. JUST DROP IT!" His voice started to get higher. Adam sat up and looked at us.

"I'm not going to drop it Jackson, I care about you. You may think i don't but i sure as hell do." I calmed my self down, I didnt want to scare Adam, so i lowered my voice.

"Since when have you cared? Noone has. I could have been doing this for years and noone would have noticed until Miley pulled this stunt off. Noone cares." He looked at me with a sorrow in his eyes that said a thousand words.

"I... Jackso..." I didnt know what to say. He was probably right. I most likely wouldnt have noticed before. I dont know. Maybe i would.

"Yeah, thats what i thought. Why dont you take Adam home and ill have her call you when she gets home. I dont feel like entertaining today." He sounded cold, and harsh.

"What ever." This made me angry. I walked over to Adam and put on my shoes. "Come on. Lets give him time to cool down. He apparently needs it." I whispered to Adam.

"JUST GET THE FUCK OUT!" He screamed. I hurried to the door and picked up Adam.

"I just wanted to help." I sighed and closed the door behind me. I feel awful, and whats worse Jackson is cutting...

* * *

Please R&R that would be great. Any suggestions?

Im planning on ending this story soon and starting a new one, soooooo look out for that. Ending will be INTENSE.


	32. Blood Red

**Chapter 32**

Miley's Pov

Daddy brought my stuff into the house as i remained outside, taking in the fresh ocean breeze. The wind whipped through my hair and the sun shined on my pale face. This was way better than a hospital. My father's bright face peered out from the front door and smiled brightly toward me.

"Need help gettin' inside, Bud?" He walked over to me and held out his arm. I heavily leaned on him, and it didnt phase him. My weight was nothing to him. I smiled at him and it felt as if everything i went through in the past year was all over. It felt as if i was normal. I havent felt normal in so long. I felt happy and relieved as well. It was a great feeling. A feeling i had gone too long without.

"Thank you, Daddy." He opened the door and led me to the couch. I was allowed to take the bandages off today, so I will before i go to bed. I was so exhausted, though. It may have to wait until morning. I collapsed onto the couch and sighed.

"Want anythin' to eat, Bud? I can whip up some pancakes or ice cream sundaes, or heck, even some lasagna." He smiled and sat on a stool. "What'd say, Miles?"

I missed this house soooo much. The smell, the touch and the mess. I didn't miss Olivia. While I was gone, she had cheated on my dad, and they are no longer dating. That made me happy.

"I'm not that hungry, Daddy. But, thank you." I smiled at him from the couch and sighed once more.

"What's wrong, Bud?" He asked staring at me from his stool in the kitchen.

"Nothing. It's just.. I'm home finally, and its so great. But I kinda miss everything you know. I miss what i used to be. Hannah Montana, and now i probably wont be the same at school or anything. I dont know."

"Well Miles, everything changes, eventually. I dont think it will be that bad." The sides of his mouth curved and formed a smile that made me happy. Happiness was hard to come by in these days, but now that its here, it feels great.

"Your right daddy. We'll have to see." We sat in silence for what seemed like a lifetime before either of us stirred. "I think i'm going to sleep for a while, okay?" I started to get up and he rushed to my side. "Dad, i'm fine. I can make it upstairs myself." I said as sweetly as i could.

"Okay bud. Just holler if you need anything." I giggled at him saying holler. He is trying to be oh so cool. I slowly went up the stairs. Step by step, the pain grew. I felt weak, and my arms began to burn. I dont know what it was. I guess i just was cooped up too long.I grasped onto the railing and inhaled deeply. I sat down on the 2nd to last step to the top, and closed my eyes. This pain was unreal. Why did i feel like this?

I got up and continued up the stairs and a sharp pain made me fall to my feet and cry in agony. I held my stomach and sobbed. My dad ran up the stairs and his eyes widened. My grey sweat pants were soaked with blood. I looked down and my eyes rolled to the back of my head and darkness came once more.


	33. Little one

Chapter 33

[Jackson's pov

"Jackson!" I heard my dad calling me. I rolled my eyes and came to my bedroom door.

"What, old man!?" I screamed down at him. I heard a faint sob.

"Call the hospital!" He screamed at me. I ran out of my room and gazed at my sister collapsed on the floor.

Tears swelled into my eyes like a sudden hurricane that was unstoppable, and yet none came out. I was in my room, despising Miley, Dad, and even Mom for a little while and now this? I could lose my baby sister. I almost did once, I'm not going to have it happen this time. I charged up the stairs and grabbed my cell phone off my dresser. I pounded on the keys and it finally came out to be 911. Three rings slowly came by and a slow calm voice answered the phone.

"Nine-one-one, what is your emergency?" The woman's voice asked calmy. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words. I was terrified. "Hello?" She asked.

"No, my sister is, uh, collapsed." I sobbed into the phone. I have no idea how she understood me.

"Where is your location, sir?" My mouth clenched and i couldn't answer. "Alright, we will trace this and find your house."

"Just get here, I dont want to loose her." I cried.

"Sir, can you stay on the phone until they arrive? I sent them to your address, they should be there within minutes." Her voice was so calm. My whimpers had subsided as they turned into heavy breaths. Wailing sirens blazed in the distance.

"They are here. Thank you." I hiccupped and hung up the phone. When i was finally downstairs they already had her on a stretcher. She was pale, she had lost alot of blood. I wonder what's wrong. I have no idea. I ran after my dad and grabbed his arm. His eyes were puffy and the smile he always had was nonexistant. He grasped my shoulder and squeezed it. My world seemed to be spinning out of control, I can't handle this. I pulled away from my dad and walked back towards the house.

"Jackson?" He asked towards me. I stopped walking but did not bother to turn around. "We'll leave in ten, okay?" I slowly nodded and continued walking. My vision became blurry, but my face remained constant. I walked as if i was a zombie in a trance to my room. My destiny, the place where I cannot be destroyed by others, but I could control everything and destroy myself. My room. I took a pit stop and searched for her box. The box of ... The box of Miley's old 'tools'. I ripped apart her whole room and nothing. Damn. Dad must have taken them and disposed of them. I walked into her bathroom and found her razor. I picked off the protective covering and the small pink piece over my destined prize. I finally had two small blades resting in my hands. The light had hit them perfectly. They shined like little ornaments on a christmas tree. So sleek, yet so clean. This razor must be new.

I redirected myself to my room and laid on my bed, staring at the shining objects in my hand. I dropped them on my bed and looked at them once more. It was too quiet in my room. I looked around and grabbed my flyleaf C.D. off the floor. Yes, this is the C.D. I flipped through the songs and finally found the one Red Sam, an amazing song.

_Here I Stand, empty hands, wishing my wrists were bleeding, to stop the pain from the beatings.._

The song soon turned to the next, There for you. I know this C.D. up and down. I gripped the blade tighter and closed my eyes. The lyrics to There for you danced around my head.

_Sometimes I'm a selfish fake..  
Your always a true friend.  
I dont deserve you because  
I'm not there for you.  
Please forgive me again._

_I want to be there for you..  
Someone you can come to...  
It runs deeper than my bones.  
I want to be there for you._

_Swirling shades of blue  
slow dancing in your sky,  
the sun kisses the earth  
and i hush my urge to cry..._

I held the blade against my wrist and opened my eyes. I heard voices but i did not care. I gripped the blade tighter and the knob turned on my door. I pressed the blade to my skin tighter, small beads of blood started to appear. Brandi peeked through the door and ran to me. I dropped the blade as she hugged me. Tears finally slid down my cheeks as we rocked from side to side. I needed a hug, or something. I couldn't handle loosing Miles. I just can't. I sobbed into her blue tshirt, turning the color on her shoulder dark blue. Her hands held my back tight. She loosened them when the tears slowed down.She looked as if she had been crying as well.It seemed as if forever before any one of use began to speak. My lips parted and i tried to speak but nothing. Once more, nothing. Finally I tried once more.

"Miley, shes..." I began, but she cut me off.

"I know, your Dad told me. He told me to come up and get you so we could go to the hospital together." Her worried face was so delicate, and small. Lines of black dotted her face, I'm guessing mascara. Why had she been crying? She smiled at me and I couldn;t help but smile back. "Jackson, it's going to be fine. Miley is a fighter." A grin appeared on my face and I couldn't help but hug her again. "Come on, lets go." She got up off my bed and I nodded. I followed her down the stairs. I never realized how short she was until we reached the last step. She was only up to my nose. I thought i was short. This made me smile, as well.

"You ready, kids?" Dad asked. We both nodded and went into my car. Dad was driving. I give the man props. I honestly couldn't drive right now. I just couldn't. Brandi was sitting right next to me. Her shoulder was soaked with my tears, but she didn't mind. She looked to the left at the ocean. The beach seemed to be empty. The sun gleamed on her tear stained cheeks and revealed deep blue eyes, and freckles upon her cheeks. Her innocent little face reminded me of my mother's. It was subtle, yet made me smile. Her face lit up as she spotted Nikkie on the beach, she waved to her and Dad stopped the car. Nikkie ran to the car, and smiled at Brandi and me.

"Where are you guys goin'?" She asked. Her blonde hair whipped in the wind as an orange hoody covered her top. Small shorts covered her bottom, revealing her tanned long legs. My Dad looked at her with sorrow.

"Miles is back in the hospital." He whispered to her. Her face turned into a frown, and worry seemed to be in there as well.

"Would you like to come with?" Dad asked. "There is room for one more." She smiled slightly and jumped into the front seat. My dad continued to drive towards the hospital, everyone in silence. The only words available flooded all of our heads at the moment. 'Will she live through this?' The car radio was turned down, but from what I could hear it was The Fray. My dad changed the station, he couldn't bear this song. We finally arrived at the hospital and Dad parked sort of in the back of the lot. We all walked pretty fast, trying to keep up with my dad, but we couldn't. He was at least 10 feet infront of us and continued in his pace. He entered the hospital and checked in with the receptionist. He sighed deeply. "Stewart, Miley." He said. We then returned to an oh so familiar place. We continued to the elevator and my dad pressed floor 3. Floor 3? Thats the baby floor. The one with the babies. Why are we going there?

My eyes widened as we walked down the hall and found Miley's room. Everyone entered the room, except me. I just couldn't. I watched a nurse come in and draw blood from my baby sister. I watched my father cry next to her as she opened her eyes. She smiled to see me there. Tears came into my eyes again as the nurse passed me once more, as she held a small baby in her arms. It was so small.

"She lost alot of blood in the delivery, but we managed to save her and the baby. She was only 27 weeks, but the baby was well developed, she is just super tiny." The nurse placed the infant in Miley's arms. The nurse had a chart next to her and she gave it to Dad. "I'll leave you alone for a bit."

Everyone was speechless. How was Miley pregnant? Is the father Jake?AHHHH THIS WORLD IS INSANE! Everyone huddled around Miley as she held the small baby in her arms. It had her eyes.


	34. One little box

Chapter 34

**Miley's POV**

I looked down at the sweet innocent face of my baby girl. Who would have known? She is adorable. Jake's round eyes were now hers, and my brown hair was one gentle small tuft on her head. It was like one little curl, she had.

I knew I was getting bigger, but i didn't realize that was pregnancy... I assumed it at times, but I wouldn't have guessed. I mean, no excercise, diffrent meds, and laying down basically all of the time. How could the hospital have missed this? Well I never had the kidney transplant, I never needed it, before they checked them they got my tox screens back and found out about the drugs I had injested. I have no idea how the baby lived through that, but she did. She was a fighter. Jake ran into the room out of breath and looked down at the baby in my arms. My dad had went downstairs and everyone had followed him. They left a few minutes before Jake had come in. He sighed, looking down at her, and then to me.

"Does she.. um, have a name yet?" He asked, somewhat panting. I smiled and stroked her forehead.

"I'm not sure." I smiled and looked to her and then to him. " Would you like to hold her?" His deep blue eyes had softened, he grinned and then nodded. Tears filled his eyes as he held his daughter in his arms. He could not help but feel something for her. She was half of him and the girl he loved, but ended up hurting.

"Miley, I'm sorry." He began, He sniffed and a single tear caressed his cheek. "For everything. What I did to you was terrible, and I... I'm sorry." He held her tighter in his arms and her eyes opened. He jumped a little, but smiled as he looked into her eyes. "She has your nose." He laughed a little.

"She has your eyes." I responded, weakly, but as bold as I could. He handed her back to me, and she hiccupped. There was a long pause in our conversation. It was mostly us looking at her.

"Miley, I love you. I never meant to hurt you. Knowing that you were in pain, hurt me the most. I mean, I never wanted to do that, that's not me. You know that, you know me, Miley. I love you. " He whispered, I looked up at him to see him holding something.

I could not see what he was holding. He continued. "I was afraid that you didn't like me like that back. I was just.."

Tears formed into his eyes once more. The regular blue in his eyes had transformed to a deep blue I had never seen before. I looked into his eyes, they made me want to melt. I couldn't help but smile. Tears began falling from his eyes and hit the pale white floor.

"I was just.. Scared. I don't know how to explain it." He looked down at our baby girl once more. I heard footsteps out side of the door, but Jake never turned. His eyes remained on the baby, then looked up to me. I looked over to see Daddy, Brandi, Jackson and Nikkie walk in. They stayed silent as Jake began to talk again. "Miley, I mean I can't help these feelings I have for you. Yes, I was stupid, I probably still am, but I know this is for real, how I feel about you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Do you?" He lifted his arm and revealed a diamond ring fitted into a small blue velvet box.

My father's eyes widened, as well as Jackson's. Brandi and Nikkie gasped, looking at the size of the ring.

After all I had been through, I definately had to think about this. I just gave birth to a baby girl, Jake is the father. I am fifteen, and not able to go into the world on my own yet, so I would definately need to think of something. Although, I am Hannah Montana, so I do have money, and Jake is famous and he has money. It's bad for me to think about it, but I know we could take care of our baby.

"Well Miles?" My dad asked. He was partially smiling, but I know it was forced, he never wanted to give up his baby girl.

"I know what I want to name her." I said, sortof changing the subject. "Livia Nicole." I smiled and looked down at her. "Livia means peace maker." I gazed at Daddy and he smiled.

"Livia it is." Jake smiled and leaned over and his lips met mine. He turned his head and I kissed him back. A feeling creeped to my core, It was a feeling of happiness. A feeling I had gone too long without. Jake pulled away and grinned at me.

"Livia Nicole Ryan, I like it." He kissed me once more and I couldn't help but giggle. Despite everything that has happened, I think I actually love Jake. I can not picture myself with anybody else but him.

"Yes, Jake. I accept." His face lit up and he ran over to my father and hugged him.

Jake then walked over to me, opened the box and slid the precious ring onto my ring finger. He smiled and gazed at Livia and me.

"My two girls. I'll never leave you."


End file.
